Im new, here is my story...

I have a beautiful baby girl. So calm, and sweet. Our last child of three. She turned 1 a couple of weeks ago. On Friday, I looked over at her in her hi-chair, and she was gray, with her eyes rolled back. I ripped her out of her hi-chair, with my 8 yr old daughter screaming. She was turning blue, and so cold. My husband called 911...I thought she was choking so I tired a little bit of Hiemlich manouver. I saw she was not breathing, and so I tried to give her artificial respirations, but her mouth was clenched shut. Finally she went limp, and I screamed, because as an RN, I thought she had passed away. She finally took a breath, and we were rushed to the hospital by ambulance. I spent the day doing tests, and bloodwork, CT scans, etc, and then observation on the pediatric ward. She was sleepy, but then normal again. We went home. Today she had another one. She was crawling, then slumped down, and my husband screamed for me. (We can't get over the terror of seeing your baby not breathing). We timed it, like they told us to, and put her gnetly on the floor, where she stared off to the side..40 seconds, then a slight tonic-clonic to total 1 min 30. (A lifetime). We were told today she has epilepsy, and sent home, terrifed of putting her to bed, and terrifed of every move she makes. We are terrified. And nothing anyone can say will make me feel better. But I am trying.