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I've Been Rejected By The "In Crowd"
Tue, 11/21/2006 - 02:30I have noticed that my friends and social contacts have diminished quite a bit over the years due mainly to seizures. I am often in a club / bar enviroment and have even had a seizure on stage before (how embarrasing). I seem to have them when I am up for long periods of time, don't eat properly and just generally party too much. If I care for myself and regulate sleep, eat on time and don't get too excited by stress, problems, situations etc... they seem to be controlled and don't occur ... but one little slip up and I'm going down. This sucks when I want to go out with friends, or hang out late and just basically get fu*ked up and drink and party and get festive into the wee hours. Does anyone else have this type of problem?
Seizures have happened on dates, at work, twice while driving, at the mall, etc.... what I noticed is that people really freak out, all of a sudden everyone is having a good time and then "boom" Doug is "posessed" and falls out and starts flopping around like a fish. I hear random roumors about me from time to time which can be rather disturbing, I once even heard that I died. I feel very embarrased by this problem and even ashamed at times, although I cannot help it and wish it didn't exist, it does affect certain aspects of my social life. I hate the meds, they make me sleep way too much, feel tired all the time and I don't want to go anywhere because I worry that it might happen in public or even worse behind the wheel of the car. I live miserably with this each day.
Anyways .. I just wanted to get that out... it feels kinda nice to share these feeling with people who actually understand and can truly relate.
Douglas
Comments
Re: Re: Re: I've Been Rejected By The "In Crowd"
Submitted by Stratovarius65 on Tue, 2006-11-21 - 12:00
Hey Rick ... I think perhaps I depicted my situation incorrectly, despite my enjoyment of having a few drinks, chasing women and playing my guitar .. I NEVER drank and drove, especially with the epilepsy. I would feel far to guilty if I hurt someone with my automobile while intoxicated or having a seizure behind the wheel. I ONLY drive my car if I am sober, my dilantin levels are where they should be and I feel safe to drive. When I said I was in a bar envoriment often, it's mainly because I play in a band and have to be there to work and keep the lights on and pay my bills, not necessarly because I was getting toasted. I don't really drink that much ... maybe, once a month at best and even that is socially, I have never even had a drink in my own home or in the daylight hours. I do however do enjoy being socialble and enjoy being in a social setting .. I once was able to find comfort there and now I feel sort of "disconnected" from the "scene" so to speak and I think that is more my problem rather than substance abuse. My wife left me like 4 years ago, she said she could not deal with the seizures and pretty much I cannot even get a date these days, so I think what I am experiencing is loneliness of sorts, life without a partner and this type of thing. I live with my dog "buster" and my sister and have done so for the past years, I am sure I could get a date, but I personally just don't feel very marketable because of the seizures. I hope this sheds a bit of light better on my situation, I really didn't mean to imply that I had substance abuse issues, that would be inaccurate.
Re: Re: I've Been Rejected By The "In Crowd"
Submitted by Stratovarius65 on Tue, 2006-11-21 - 12:11
Andy man, I have been hanging out with people who when I had a seizure have left me laying on the ground and taken my cell phone and car and wallet. This has happened on several occasions ... so these days I am being very careful whom I place my trust in and even more careful about who I spend my time with. All I do anymore is just sit home and play my guitar ALONE!!! no phone calls, no ivitations to go out .. life has become very "blah". Please read my reply to Rick about the substance abuse and many thanks for your response.
Re: Re: I've Been Rejected By The "In Crowd"
Submitted by wichitarick on Tue, 2006-11-21 - 10:32
hi yeah what they said.................... Please don,t misunderstand me but you gave me a pretty good laugh with your post. but it is through your weakness that I get and stay stronger. this almost reads like a "trick" question for future doctors. But it also reads as my own profile and my friends and family did not abandon me becuase I was epileptic it was because I was a drunken asshole and dangerous ,just as you are , because you are driving. Please keep posting your feelings I am real bad at soap boxing an issue and do not preach well at A.A meetings and do not have a phych degree to anaylize your prob. but just as andy stated it has to end somewhere. Consider yourself at a breaking point now, or the middle now or whatever you want but it is true that lifestyle has to end now so you you can move on . I do not even know your age or your history but it does not really matter because you said it all . my profile reads about like andys I have 12 yrs sober/drug free and spent the previous part "very" messed up. no matter what else it has to start with "you" asking "you" some key questions. like am I alcoholic? If so there is a lot of help out there, and In here. which do I want worse, the party or the seizure? how many good friends and family have I lost ? they will come back when you straighten up. can I go out "ever" and not drink? that is not good advice for an alcoholic ,but it is a key question in the whole picture. you get the idea you have to be in touch with you before you find a beginning. I can assure you that based on what you said just not living for the party will slow down the seizures. because what you said sounded exactly like my last summer of partying except for I went to jail in between the bars and seizures. The other way to live is not all about knitting and crochet there is a lot more to life than the inside of a club. without all the B.S. here the most important thing here is guess what those anti seizure meds DO NOT WORK when mixed with alcohol!!!! please keep talking because it helps others if not yourself. peace is a plus , Rick