Community Forum Archive
The Epilepsy Community Forums are closed, and the information is archived. The content in this section may not be current or apply to all situations. In addition, forum questions and responses include information and content that has been generated by epilepsy community members. This content is not moderated. The information on these pages should not be substituted for medical advice from a healthcare provider. Experiences with epilepsy can vary greatly on an individual basis. Please contact your doctor or medical team if you have any questions about your situation. For more information, learn about epilepsy or visit our resources section.
Joke of the Day
Thu, 05/18/2006 - 12:00Topic: Corner Booth
Thought I'd start a new "Joke of the Day" thread - I can always use some laughs, how about you?
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists...
Two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances.
In side of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out
with tears in his eyes." I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband.
She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.
After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.
She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, "This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."
Comments
Re: Joke of the Day
Submitted by txrhb1 on Fri, 2006-05-19 - 10:12
This guy wins the lottery and decides to buy the nicest car he could find. He buys a Ferrari. It went 320 mph, had a V-12 engine, and went from 0-60 in 3 seconds. He thought nobody would be able to pass him. He decided to show his car off around town. He approaches a stoplight and at that stoplight came an old guy on a moped. The old guy says, "Nice car you have there can I take a look inside." The man says, "Sure look around all you want." When the old guy came out he said the car was all right. The guy who owned the Ferrari was pissed. His car was more than all right. So he decides to show the old man what his car could do. When the light turned green the man accelerated to 140 mph. just as the guy thought he had lost the old man he saw a black dot in his rear view mirror and it was gaining on him. IT WAS THE OLD GUY ON THE MOPED. The moped past the Ferrari. The guy in the Ferrari was like "no way." He then sped up to 240 mph and dusted the moped. But just as the guy in the Ferrari thought he had it made he saw a black dot in his rear view mirror and it was gaining on him. IT WAS THE OLD GUY ON THE MOPED. The moped passed him again. The guy in the Ferrari was getting mad, how could a moped do this. The guy then said, "that’s it" and floored it. He blazed past the old man going 320 mph. The guy in the Ferrari said " there’s no way he can pass me now. But just as he said that he saw a black dot in his rear view mirror and it was gaining on him. IT WAS THE OLD GUY ON THE MOPED. There was nothing the guy in the Ferrari could do. He was going as fast as he could. But this time the guy on the moped didn't pass him; it hit the back of his car. The guy in the Ferrari stopped immediately and ran to the old man. Amazingly the old man was still alive. The guy asked the old man if there was anything he could do. The old man replied, " Unhook my suspenders off of your rear view mirror.
((( hugs ))),
Barbie
***************************************
"We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can fly only by embracing each other." -lucian de crescenzo
Re: Re: Joke of the Day
Submitted by Colina on Fri, 2006-05-19 - 13:47
Great big, roll on the floor laugh! Thanx Barbie
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joke of the Day
Submitted by Spiz on Thu, 2006-05-18 - 16:00
Here's another: A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."