Anger and Aggression after a Seizure

You're right, depression is part of the illness and depression does effect mood.  But also there can be a relation with epilepsy, emotion, and behavior even when depression isn't strong.  A seizure focus or starting point is common in the right temporal lobe which is the emotional part of the brain.  I've had it all my life and have had trouble controlling the anger and rage.  It's complicated and different for everyone so there are no easy answers.  For me increased seizure control results in increased rage and aggression.  I've been off pills for a week or more few times for EEG monitoring and WOW I feel great!  I don't know what you can tell your husband.  You may or may not be able to tell your husband some things about his mood.  But changes may help him realize how bad it is.  In the early 1990's doctors had me doing drug trials to determine if my seizures were "refractory" or uncontrolled by medications.  This involved lots of dosage changes and medication changes.  This also woke me up to the fact that it was not others who were being "pushy" or "treating me like I am stupid".  But I discovered it was something that got worse when my dose of Dilantin got higher.  I was slightly shocked to realize it was my perception that changed!You said there are seizures that still happen.  Talk to his neurologist about a medication change.  I imagine he hasn't tried too many medications yet so they haven't yet determined his seizures "refractory" and will want to try more pills.  But, in his extreme state, it would be nice to see if he would qualify for Vagus Nerve Stimulation or VNS.  It didn't completely stop my seizures but it did improve how quickly I recovered from them.  Better yet, VNS left me with a better mood.  After I tried it 1999-2004 it was approved for use to treat depression.  It does have the potential to improve mood.  Talk to doctor about VNS.Mike

Sorry to see that you find yourself in a situation where you have the feeling that you are caught between a rock and a hard place. When individuals are diagnosed with Epilepsy later in life, it can be a bigger challenge. After all, they probably feel the terms and conditions of their seizures and the medication is probably robbing them of what they grew accustomed to. And when you double that with the fact that the seizures and medication can have their own side effects, it has to be quite a challenge. The two biggest challenges for humans on the whole; Epilepsy  or no Epilepsy; are the feeling of things being taken away from them and the challenge that comes with adapting. I think both you and your husband are facing the same; just in different areas. As a result it's good that you reached out here to figure out how you might be able to balance things. There are two particular things you listed that I can understand how it confuses you. You said at times when you try to tell him everything will be okay he gets worked up. At the same time, you said when you withdrew he told said to you that you don't care. I think I have an idea as to why he seems so conflicting. For starters, when someone is experiencing something that overwhelms them, hearing that everything is going to be okay usually has the opposite effect, meaning they get the feeling that you are saying wishful things to them and ignoring how they being affected. Sort of like if you are a parent and something happens to your kids and someone, who isn't a parent, says to you; "Relax. Everything will be okay." I have a sister who is a parent and I learnt that that's not the first line you want to say to a mother when something is affecting one of the kids. The more practical approach is usually to be more of a listener, hence getting them to say how they feel so you can get an idea of what to say.Given your husband is 32, it's not unusual for his diagnosis to really take time to adjust. After all, the seizures are one thing and the meds are another thing and then he probably sits down and ponders all that he is losing. It's a natural reaction that is often overplayed because that's just how humans operate. Like I said, change and uncertainty can really do a job on individuals. As you can see, it's also taking a toll on you. Try to meet him halfway Ingrid. This is why you probably get the line that you don't care when you pull back. That said, meeting someone halfway has terms and conditions you have to put in place, meaning saying to yourself; "I'll listen to his concern in areas and explore how we can try to manage it but I (you) also have to be practical about what I (you) control and what I (you) can't control." Let me give you a parallel. When I was undergoing surgery, the internal EEG was successful at giving us the results of what areas should be subjected to surgery. Now some people would hear that and say; "Okay!!!! That should do it."In my case my approach was never running on that principle. I had to be practical from start; meaning "Let's see what the results say." And because I was when they did the language mapping, which was the next test given seizures were close to language and speech and memory, we realized that three of the designated areas that should be subjected to surgery had failed the test, meaning they had failed the surgery approval. Now some people would have tossed in the towel and said; "That's it!!!! Although the other areas passed the test for surgery, those three that failed means I'm out.!!!!!My approach, when the neurosurgeon told me about the three areas was to find out where do we go from there? Is there any other way to figure out whether all of the three or even one of the three that failed the initial test can be subjected to surgery? He told me; "We can repeat the language mapping, except during surgery, when I can see and touch those areas while you are speaking." My answer? "Let's do it." And I said that because I realized I had nothing to lose. More that likely something to gain.To make a long story short, we repeated the test during surgery. They woke me up the team came in and repeated the test while my neurosurgeon saw and touched those areas. The result of that test was that we could remove 2.5 of the 3 areas that failed the test initially. As a result, instead of giving up and not doing surgery, or doing surgery only on the areas that had initially passed the test, we were able to remove those that initially passed the test and 2.5 of the 3 that failed the initial test.Having Epilepsy requires being practical. And that means finding ways to figure out how best to manage it. But to do that it will take time, and, as my neurosurgeon told me post surgery, patience. Epilepsy showed up in his 30s versus myself who had it from the time I was 4 so his ride will be a bigger challenge. Luckily, neurology has advanced significantly.  

Sorry to see that you find yourself in a situation where you have the feeling that you are caught between a rock and a hard place. When individuals are diagnosed with Epilepsy later in life, it can be a bigger challenge. After all, they probably feel the terms and conditions of their seizures and the medication is probably robbing them of what they grew accustomed to. And when you double that with the fact that the seizures and medication can have their own side effects, it has to be quite a challenge. The two biggest challenges for humans on the whole; Epilepsy  or no Epilepsy; are the feeling of things being taken away from them and the challenge that comes with adapting. I think both you and your husband are facing the same; just in different areas. As a result it's good that you reached out here to figure out how you might be able to balance things. There are two particular things you listed that I can understand how it confuses you. You said at times when you try to tell him everything will be okay he gets worked up. At the same time, you said when you withdrew he told said to you that you don't care. I think I have an idea as to why he seems so conflicting. For starters, when someone is experiencing something that overwhelms them, hearing that everything is going to be okay usually has the opposite effect, meaning they get the feeling that you are saying wishful things to them and ignoring how they being affected. Sort of like if you are a parent and something happens to your kids and someone, who isn't a parent, says to you; "Relax. Everything will be okay." I have a sister who is a parent and I learnt that that's not the first line you want to say to a mother when something is affecting one of the kids. The more practical approach is usually to be more of a listener, hence getting them to say how they feel so you can get an idea of what to say.Given your husband is 32, it's not unusual for his diagnosis to really take time to adjust. After all, the seizures are one thing and the meds are another thing and then he probably sits down and ponders all that he is losing. It's a natural reaction that is often overplayed because that's just how humans operate. Like I said, change and uncertainty can really do a job on individuals. As you can see, it's also taking a toll on you. Try to meet him halfway Ingrid. This is why you probably get the line that you don't care when you pull back. That said, meeting someone halfway has terms and conditions you have to put in place, meaning saying to yourself; "I'll listen to his concern in areas and explore how we can try to manage it but I (you) also have to be practical about what I (you) control and what I (you) can't control." Let me give you a parallel. When I was undergoing surgery, the internal EEG was successful at giving us the results of what areas should be subjected to surgery. Now some people would hear that and say; "Okay!!!! That should do it."In my case my approach was never running on that principle. I had to be practical from start; meaning "Let's see what the results say." And because I was when they did the language mapping, which was the next test given seizures were close to language and speech and memory, we realized that three of the designated areas that should be subjected to surgery had failed the test, meaning they had failed the surgery approval. Now some people would have tossed in the towel and said; "That's it!!!! Although the other areas passed the test for surgery, those three that failed means I'm out.!!!!!My approach, when the neurosurgeon told me about the three areas was to find out where do we go from there? Is there any other way to figure out whether all of the three or even one of the three that failed the initial test can be subjected to surgery? He told me; "We can repeat the language mapping, except during surgery, when I can see and touch those areas while you are speaking." My answer? "Let's do it." And I said that because I realized I had nothing to lose. More that likely something to gain.To make a long story short, we repeated the test during surgery. They woke me up the team came in and repeated the test while my neurosurgeon saw and touched those areas. The result of that test was that we could remove 2.5 of the 3 areas that failed the test initially. As a result, instead of giving up and not doing surgery, or doing surgery only on the areas that had initially passed the test, we were able to remove those that initially passed the test and 2.5 of the 3 that failed the initial test.Having Epilepsy requires being practical. And that means finding ways to figure out how best to manage it. But to do that it will take time, and, as my neurosurgeon told me post surgery, patience. Epilepsy showed up in his 30s versus myself who had it from the time I was 4 so his ride will be a bigger challenge. Luckily, neurology has advanced significantly.