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Back to college, repeat first year and struggle or take a year out?

Sun, 08/20/2017 - 22:42
I need help. I'm 20 years old turning 21 soon and due to the fact I had to change tablets and getting and was getting constant side effects from it the whole time during my college year just gone by, I'm now going to be repeating my first year of college. I already had to repear 6th year (or whatever the final year in high school is) as I was so sick because we found out too late that whenever I get stressed it can bring out the side effects of my tablets. I was on a very high dose of lamictal at the time so, by the time we realised, why I was so sick and how to rectify it, I knew I wouldn't be able to sit my exams to graduate. It's happening all over again. I'm on my new tablets now and I'm not sure about them. I don't know if I want to stay on them or not and what I dread is the thought of being so behind in college again. Also, I'm just so fed up of feeling guilty for missing class for being sick and then being stressed about the fact I have to catch up and then because I'm stressed 8 times out of 10 I just get sick again. It's a never ending cycle. I was considering taking a year out. Figuring out whether or not I even want to do the course I'm doing at the moment and on my year off just work and maybe travel a little. The only thing is, I know I'm going to miss my friends terribly and also the fact that after my year out I'll be starting first year at 21 turning 22. My course is a 4 year course which means I will finish at 26 years old and god knows what will happen with my epilepsy between then. Another thing is that I don't like the idea of me giving into my epilepsy. I always promised myself I'd never do that. The only thing is I'm just so fed up of being sick and being so utterly stressed over it. I feel like life is too short for me to feel like this all the time. I was just wondering if anyone has ever been in the same boat as me before or has even dropped out altogether and is completely happy with their decision?

Comments

Hey Mairéad, I just finished

Submitted by Believer_59cd4d81a99cf on Tue, 2017-10-17 - 23:47
Hey Mairéad, I just finished my bachelor's degree while dealing with the side effects of meds, as well as switching meds in the middle.  I was part of an accelerated program that only met once or twice a week, and half of my courses were online, which made things a lot easier for me.  I was ready to drop everything a few times, but like you, I wanted to continue with my friends.  And I can relate to the stress being the worst part! I've been feeling much better since school ended a few weeks ago, but I'm really happy I got my degree. If you drop out it will be much harder to start again than to continue, so you need to decide what finishing the program means to you--in terms of careers, social life, health, etc. If you decide you want to stay, the first thing you need to figure out is how to handle the stress, and what the school can do for you.  When I switched my medication, my professor extended the due date for my final report by a month! I was always stressed that I would be too sick to finish my work, so just being told that I had as much time as I needed helped me finish. Also, it helped me to realize that a lot of my anxiety was because of the meds, not the situation, so I learned that sometimes I just need to listen to music and NOT do work, and that's okay.  If the anxiety is really bad, talk to your doctor about it.  Especially if it's a side effect of your medicine, your doc may be able to help you. If you DO drop out, make sure you have support outside of school and meaningful work to do. Leaving behind something you worked so hard for can leave you feeling lonely and depressed, so invest yourself in doing something you love.  Be in touch with friends and mentors, do whatever kind of art you like, and if you're feeling good, work with kids or people, or volunteer! The more you give the less down you'll feel.  Best of luck with your decision, and feel good!~Bee

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Hello Mairéad. I may be late,

Submitted by nanafaj on Fri, 2019-04-19 - 19:57
Hello Mairéad. I may be late, but I do feel your sentiments. I have been going through the same thing ever since I started college as well. I have been on several medications and currently on topiramate, which has become a pain. I have been retaking courses over and over again, without success. I am currently contemplating on taking a break to see what to do, as I'm on probation at my institution, due to my grades being below par. I am struggling due to memory loss, loss of concentration, loss of attention, loss of focus, speech and language problems, slow thinking,  sensory distortion, extreme drowsiness,  tiredness, and dizziness. All this hinder me from functioning. 

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