Parent with recently diagnosed teenage son

CDC funded page

Not a CDC funded Page

My 16 year old son was recently diagnosed with juvenile epilepsy in Sept. 2016. He had 7 seizures in almost as many weeks. A variety of medication cocktails were tried and he went from 6 pills, to 10 pills to 14 pills, back to 6 pills per day over the course of the past few months. The medication is taking a toll on him. He has been struggling with school work. His teachers have been apprized of the situation and most have been understanding, but I he is lacking focus and motivation. He is frustrated and feeling isolated with his new reality and I am struggling to help him. He has always been a positive and upbeat child but his depression is noticeable and I am at a loss as to how to what I can do for him. He doesn't want to talk to me, he just shuts down. I would very much appreciate any suggestions and would love to hear about your experiences with your children, what worked, what didn't, in order to provide the best support for him that I can. Thank you.

Comments

Hello. My daughter is 13

Submitted by Sweetpea4 on Mon, 2017-04-10 - 05:32

Hello. My daughter is 13 turning 14 very soon & she had her 1st seizure Nov 2016. My daughter is also a very upbeat happy girl and I think after the weekend...she had 5 seizures in a 26 hour period & stayed 2 nights in the hospital she is becoming angry that she has Epilepsy & wishes it would go away. I am worried that she is going to become closed off. We are trying to remain positive and that we will find the right medicine to help her. My only advice which I am considering is finding a therapist that he could talk to. It might be helpful. I wish you luck in helping your son. Everyday for me is a constant worry. Hoping one day it will get better.

My son has his first seizure

Submitted by mereloaded on Fri, 2017-04-14 - 09:43

My son has his first seizure a few days before his 15 birthday, on his freshman year of high school. I completely relate. I hear you.I remember when he asked his doctor if "he would ever be normal" which shocked me and made me feel sad. He once confided in me shortly after his diagnosis that he was "terrified". It was a difficult time. The doctor shrugged her shoulders and told him "live your life the way YOU want. Don't let this stop you". This was such a relief because we were all in pieces. And she was right, this is our new normal, so move on with our lives and be happy is exactly what we did.My son has been very non challant since then. He knows his meds made him "numb" and levels out his feelings sort of speak, and he likes not taking them because he can feel happier, more chatty, etc. but he learned the bad way the dire consequences of not taking his medication. With that out of the way, he has accepted this and lives a full, normal, happy life. He did varsity sports in HS and is now in college living independently and enjoying college life. My advice to you is to listen. Not judge. Reach out but don't hover or overwhelm because teens need privacy and independence. They want to be normal and fit in. They don't want to see you suffer, cry or worry. They don't want to be treated like a cripple or a baby. It is hard to find a respectful, considerate tone and develop a poker face, and find ways to care without hovering. An idea is a pill dispenser. Instead of asking him a million times if he took his medication which bothered him to no end and reminded him of being sick, with the pill dispenser the answer was there and all I had to do is to look. I always left the microwave light on, so I told him at the beginning to turn it off when he was done "downstairs". So when the microwave light was off I knew he had taken his meds. If the micro light was still on I knew he didn't so I looked at the dispenser, reminded him that the micro light was still on and then he would go downstairs, take his pills and then turn it off. It worked perfectly as his pills were store in the cabinet above the microwave. It also made it discreet when we had company. The dispenser also helps the child to take responsibility and not Defoe do not parent reminders. If your child has a smart phone, an alarm there works wonders too.Good luck

My son has his first seizure a few days before his 15 birthday, on his freshman year of high school. I completely relate. I hear you.I remember when he asked his doctor if "he would ever be normal" which shocked me and made me feel sad. He once confided in me shortly after his diagnosis that he was "terrified". It was a difficult time. The doctor shrugged her shoulders and told him "live your life the way YOU want. Don't let this stop you". This was such a relief because we were all in pieces. And she was right, this is our new normal, so move on with our lives and be happy is exactly what we did.My son has been very non challant since then. He knows his meds made him "numb" and levels out his feelings sort of speak, and he likes not taking them because he can feel happier, more chatty, etc. but he learned the bad way the dire consequences of not taking his medication. With that out of the way, he has accepted this and lives a full, normal, happy life. He did varsity sports in HS and is now in college living independently and enjoying college life. My advice to you is to listen. Not judge. Reach out but don't hover or overwhelm because teens need privacy and independence. They want to be normal and fit in. They don't want to see you suffer, cry or worry. They don't want to be treated like a cripple or a baby. It is hard to find a respectful, considerate tone and develop a poker face, and find ways to care without hovering. An idea is a pill dispenser. Instead of asking him a million times if he took his medication which bothered him to no end and reminded him of being sick, with the pill dispenser the answer was there and all I had to do is to look. I always left the microwave light on, so I told him at the beginning to turn it off when he was done "downstairs". So when the microwave light was off I knew he had taken his meds. If the micro light was still on I knew he didn't so I looked at the dispenser, reminded him that the micro light was still on and then he would go downstairs, take his pills and then turn it off. It worked perfectly as his pills were store in the cabinet above the microwave. It also made it discreet when we had company. The dispenser also helps the child to take responsibility and not Defoe do not parent reminders. If your child has a smart phone, an alarm there works wonders too.Good luck

My son has his first seizure a few days before his 15 birthday, on his freshman year of high school. I completely relate. I hear you.I remember when he asked his doctor if "he would ever be normal" which shocked me and made me feel sad. He once confided in me shortly after his diagnosis that he was "terrified". It was a difficult time. The doctor shrugged her shoulders and told him "live your life the way YOU want. Don't let this stop you". This was such a relief because we were all in pieces. And she was right, this is our new normal, so move on with our lives and be happy is exactly what we did.My son has been very non challant since then. He knows his meds made him "numb" and levels out his feelings sort of speak, and he likes not taking them because he can feel happier, more chatty, etc. but he learned the bad way the dire consequences of not taking his medication. With that out of the way, he has accepted this and lives a full, normal, happy life. He did varsity sports in HS and is now in college living independently and enjoying college life. My advice to you is to listen. Not judge. Reach out but don't hover or overwhelm because teens need privacy and independence. They want to be normal and fit in. They don't want to see you suffer, cry or worry. They don't want to be treated like a cripple or a baby. It is hard to find a respectful, considerate tone and develop a poker face, and find ways to care without hovering. An idea is a pill dispenser. Instead of asking him a million times if he took his medication which bothered him to no end and reminded him of being sick, with the pill dispenser the answer was there and all I had to do is to look. I always left the microwave light on, so I told him at the beginning to turn it off when he was done "downstairs". So when the microwave light was off I knew he had taken his meds. If the micro light was still on I knew he didn't so I looked at the dispenser, reminded him that the micro light was still on and then he would go downstairs, take his pills and then turn it off. It worked perfectly as his pills were store in the cabinet above the microwave. It also made it discreet when we had company. The dispenser also helps the child to take responsibility and not Defoe do not parent reminders. If your child has a smart phone, an alarm there works wonders too.Good luck