Leaving Husband with Epilepsy Alone?

Hi Kayla:So I can understand your concerns in terms of leaving your husband on his own. It's the natural way for anyone to feel when someone close to them has Epilepsy, and especially given it's relatively new.As I always say, there is a significant difference between concern and fear. And it's good to see that you want to find a way to be more on the concerned side versus the fearful side. After all, fear can really edit how we see things or persons in ways that we may not have to. So I am glad you are trying to minimize getting into the fearful side. After all, he still is the same person. Just had a seizure. I guess what helps, in terms of guidance, is how he feels or how he is managing this new diagnosis. Does he seem more on the concerned side or the fearful side? After all, someone can have a touch of both at times when something is new. Sometimes how the initial side (he) feels helps the other (you) to manage how they handle it. If he seems to be more on the concerned side versus the fear side, then that should help you a bit. Because the brain is so interconnected, well, what happens in one area, and how it affects other areas, can make a seizure look awfully scary to the average person who isn't too familiar with the brain. That said, it's not necessarily as scary as it looks. It just seems that way because so many different functional areas are sort of thrown off simultaneously, sort of like a domino effect. As a result you may see movements, or hear sounds that might sort of initiate some fear. That said, it isn't as fearful as it may seem. The activity is more like how you swiftly pull away your hand if you touch something hot. Except with the brain it's a few areas responding simultaneously, hence, at times, multiple movements etc. Because a seizure has to run its course, well, the average person who has to observe it may have a difficult time because they would hope it would be more like 3 seconds versus a minute or two. What helps in dealing with that concern is to contextualize what a seizure is. When the unusual neurological activity begins in the focal area (the area where the seizure is centered) the brain then responds in accordance, meaning depending on the strength of the activity and how many other areas it may affect. As a result, a person who has seizures experiences the start of the seizure and then the response of the brain to that activity. The EEG and MRI usually displays the scope of the area in the brain that takes part in the two-way process.The point is, think of a seizure like brain surgery, which I underwent. The latter sounds scary, and understandably so. After all, when we think of surgery that's enough, better that of the brain. Moreover, the images of a person undergoing brain surgery may look scary because it's not something we see more from the medical perspective if we have to look at the images. At the end of the day the look of the activity; seizure or brain surgery; is more fearful than the activity. Sort of like a dog that barks pretty loud but doesn't necessarily bight. As a result if you can contextualize what a seizure is -- the brain responding to unusual neurological activity, thus initiating unusual movements etc -- then you will be less fearful of how it seems. A seizure, while not the same, is sort of like when your leg or some other muscle tightens on its own but slowly breaks out of that tightness. The only difference is seizures results in the individual losing various ranges of consciousness depending on the type of seizure. Mine are focal so they last about a minute plus. You made a very important point when you said; "I also want to be sure we do not drive our relationship to a place of fear, live life just waiting for the next seizure, or take away the independence my husband still has." That's the dream of everyone with seizures; the hope that they aren't seen as just having seizures, hence fearful. And I think it's great that you are hoping to make sure that you aren't seeing your husband as someone how only has Epilepsy on his resume. My advice to you is to make sure he has a neurologist who specializes in Epilepsy. US News and World Report rates hospitals in the United States in various medical areas. Here is the link to neurology and neurosurgery (that's how they classify it).https://health.usnews.com/best-hospitals/rankings/neurology-and-neurosurgeryMake sure his neurologist specializes in Epilepsy. After all some neurologists are more into Parkinson's or Strokes. In your case make sure they specialize in Epilepsy.I think as you get to know more from the neurologist, as he or she suggests certain tests, like maybe a 72-hour EEG, and as they get to know more about where is seizures, they will seek out some of his best available options to take on his diagnosis.Try not to predict his seizures. Contextualize his diagnosis. Take notes of time and date when a seizure occurs. The neurologist will need that.

Remember that Epilepsy is just another neurological condition, one in which studies have advanced. Its difference is that it can seem scary. But technically it really isn't as scary as it looks. I hope you both find a neurologist who specialized in Epilepsy if you haven't yet done so. And when you do feel free to ask even more questions. Best Regards

Hi Kayla:So I can understand your concerns in terms of leaving your husband on his own. It's the natural way for anyone to feel when someone close to them has Epilepsy, and especially given it's relatively new.As I always say, there is a significant difference between concern and fear. And it's good to see that you want to find a way to be more on the concerned side versus the fearful side. After all, fear can really edit how we see things or persons in ways that we may not have to. So I am glad you are trying to minimize getting into the fearful side. After all, he still is the same person. Just had a seizure. I guess what helps, in terms of guidance, is how he feels or how he is managing this new diagnosis. Does he seem more on the concerned side or the fearful side? After all, someone can have a touch of both at times when something is new. Sometimes how the initial side (he) feels helps the other (you) to manage how they handle it. If he seems to be more on the concerned side versus the fear side, then that should help you a bit. Because the brain is so interconnected, well, what happens in one area, and how it affects other areas, can make a seizure look awfully scary to the average person who isn't too familiar with the brain. That said, it's not necessarily as scary as it looks. It just seems that way because so many different functional areas are sort of thrown off simultaneously, sort of like a domino effect. As a result you may see movements, or hear sounds that might sort of initiate some fear. That said, it isn't as fearful as it may seem. The activity is more like how you swiftly pull away your hand if you touch something hot. Except with the brain it's a few areas responding simultaneously, hence, at times, multiple movements etc. Because a seizure has to run its course, well, the average person who has to observe it may have a difficult time because they would hope it would be more like 3 seconds versus a minute or two. What helps in dealing with that concern is to contextualize what a seizure is. When the unusual neurological activity begins in the focal area (the area where the seizure is centered) the brain then responds in accordance, meaning depending on the strength of the activity and how many other areas it may affect. As a result, a person who has seizures experiences the start of the seizure and then the response of the brain to that activity. The EEG and MRI usually displays the scope of the area in the brain that takes part in the two-way process.The point is, think of a seizure like brain surgery, which I underwent. The latter sounds scary, and understandably so. After all, when we think of surgery that's enough, better that of the brain. Moreover, the images of a person undergoing brain surgery may look scary because it's not something we see more from the medical perspective if we have to look at the images. At the end of the day the look of the activity; seizure or brain surgery; is more fearful than the activity. Sort of like a dog that barks pretty loud but doesn't necessarily bight. As a result if you can contextualize what a seizure is -- the brain responding to unusual neurological activity, thus initiating unusual movements etc -- then you will be less fearful of how it seems. A seizure, while not the same, is sort of like when your leg or some other muscle tightens on its own but slowly breaks out of that tightness. The only difference is seizures results in the individual losing various ranges of consciousness depending on the type of seizure. Mine are focal so they last about a minute plus. You made a very important point when you said; "I also want to be sure we do not drive our relationship to a place of fear, live life just waiting for the next seizure, or take away the independence my husband still has." That's the dream of everyone with seizures; the hope that they aren't seen as just having seizures, hence fearful. And I think it's great that you are hoping to make sure that you aren't seeing your husband as someone how only has Epilepsy on his resume. My advice to you is to make sure he has a neurologist who specializes in Epilepsy. US News and World Report rates hospitals in the United States in various medical areas. Here is the link to neurology and neurosurgery (that's how they classify it).https://health.usnews.com/best-hospitals/rankings/neurology-and-neurosurgeryMake sure his neurologist specializes in Epilepsy. After all some neurologists are more into Parkinson's or Strokes. In your case make sure they specialize in Epilepsy.I think as you get to know more from the neurologist, as he or she suggests certain tests, like maybe a 72-hour EEG, and as they get to know more about where is seizures, they will seek out some of his best available options to take on his diagnosis.Try not to predict his seizures. Contextualize his diagnosis. Take notes of time and date when a seizure occurs. The neurologist will need that.