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Relationship troubles, self esteem, and epilepsy
Sun, 12/18/2011 - 21:07Comments
Re: Relationship troubles, self esteem, and epilepsy
Submitted by princesskyles on Mon, 2011-12-26 - 17:58
Although younger I understand. I have epilespy and have never been in a serious relationship. I am 22 and have had a few boyfriends that didnt last long. The last one I had has been the most supportive. We met at church he had just moved across the country from a small town in Prince Edward Island (about 700 people) to the third biggest city in Alberta 92, 000 people apox. Neither of talked much, but we started hsnging out away from church. And then in High School we were at the same school, he always said how much he hated it and the day he graduated he was going to move "back home" back down east. He is not quite a year older than me, and then in his grauating year someone moved to our school and they became good friends. He left me with his old friends that he couldnt handle that all sorts of their own issues. But we atill talked and saw each other.
Wouldnt you know it though shortly after he graduated his family moved back to the town that they were origanally from. Three years later hes back on his own, he was living with this other friend...and he also came to visit twice and stayed with her. The first time I didnt find out til the day before he left and the second she did everything for me not to see him. They started fighting and he moved out and in with co-woker until he had to move out so they could renovate, then he moved in with a friend of mine-she is my sister's staff. My sister has multiple medical complications including epilepsy. He started college, it was my third year. and after college ended he just stopped talking to me. No reason what so ever.
I would call him my boyfriend and he would SAY JUST FRIENDS...but no just friends would do things that we did...He also always hangs out with this married lady that has kids. but shes much older than us. I saw them walking down the street the day holding hands....its not the first time.
It really hurt me that he did what he did. He isnt at the college campus that i am at this year because he is taking buisness. They have a separte campus for buisness. But I saw one of my friends and his friends and classmates (shes old enough to be our mother, they became friends because they had all the same classes last year, we were vp and secretarty for a student group) But she was on the main campus as was I one day and asked how he was, said he tried to add me to facebook again. She said he told her he was going to do that because he wasnt going waste all our time together but the same day, he runs away from me...that he tries to add me, I told her he needs to actually talk to me...
I also found him to be unreliBLE as time went on when I had a medical emergencies. Epeilepsy isnt my only barrier.
Even though we are not facebook friends i sent condolences becase there was a triple murder suicide about 1 hour from where live and two of the people are his age and from his twon and got no reponse.
I honestly do not know what to -hes the only person ive had
Although younger I understand. I have epilespy and have never been in a serious relationship. I am 22 and have had a few boyfriends that didnt last long. The last one I had has been the most supportive. We met at church he had just moved across the country from a small town in Prince Edward Island (about 700 people) to the third biggest city in Alberta 92, 000 people apox. Neither of talked much, but we started hsnging out away from church. And then in High School we were at the same school, he always said how much he hated it and the day he graduated he was going to move "back home" back down east. He is not quite a year older than me, and then in his grauating year someone moved to our school and they became good friends. He left me with his old friends that he couldnt handle that all sorts of their own issues. But we atill talked and saw each other.
Wouldnt you know it though shortly after he graduated his family moved back to the town that they were origanally from. Three years later hes back on his own, he was living with this other friend...and he also came to visit twice and stayed with her. The first time I didnt find out til the day before he left and the second she did everything for me not to see him. They started fighting and he moved out and in with co-woker until he had to move out so they could renovate, then he moved in with a friend of mine-she is my sister's staff. My sister has multiple medical complications including epilepsy. He started college, it was my third year. and after college ended he just stopped talking to me. No reason what so ever.
I would call him my boyfriend and he would SAY JUST FRIENDS...but no just friends would do things that we did...He also always hangs out with this married lady that has kids. but shes much older than us. I saw them walking down the street the day holding hands....its not the first time.
It really hurt me that he did what he did. He isnt at the college campus that i am at this year because he is taking buisness. They have a separte campus for buisness. But I saw one of my friends and his friends and classmates (shes old enough to be our mother, they became friends because they had all the same classes last year, we were vp and secretarty for a student group) But she was on the main campus as was I one day and asked how he was, said he tried to add me to facebook again. She said he told her he was going to do that because he wasnt going waste all our time together but the same day, he runs away from me...that he tries to add me, I told her he needs to actually talk to me...
I also found him to be unreliBLE as time went on when I had a medical emergencies. Epeilepsy isnt my only barrier.
Even though we are not facebook friends i sent condolences becase there was a triple murder suicide about 1 hour from where live and two of the people are his age and from his twon and got no reponse.
I honestly do not know what to -hes the only person ive had
Re: Relationship troubles, self esteem, and epilepsy
Submitted by starlyte831 on Mon, 2011-12-26 - 01:05
Relationship troubles can happen with men and women alike. My condition involves grand mal seizures, and my husband was not that understanding. Our marriage fell apart via affairs on his part, and my condition I'm sure was a factor. In these situations, it's difficult because so many of us are good people at the mercy of something that can be unpredictable, even with the help of therapy and medications.
This sounds a lot easier saying it than doing it obviously, but one has to develop that attitude of not letting others get us down. If they choose to look down on us for things they do not understand, they have their own issues... For many of us, epilepsy is part of who we are. It isn't going away. But that doesn't mean we are incapable of leading perfectly normal lives... nor incapable of having fulfilling relationships. Take the time to find someone who will be understanding and patient, instead of rushing through others who may not be so understanding and make you feel less than you are worth. Everyone deserves a loving relationship. I actually now found a new mate who has seizures as well, although his are complex-partial... very different, but we manage and support one another. It can happen!
Finding a support group, as Chris has suggested, would be favorable for you, if you prefer talking with someone face to face to share similar experiences. I have often found my solace in just reaching out online whenever I needed that extra support with like-minded others. Just try to remember, this is not the only thing that makes you "you"... there is so much more to you. Don't let it define you or how you let life turn out. We all at least can choose how we want to live with this. :)
~Chele
-Smile & laugh often!
Relationship troubles can happen with men and women alike. My condition involves grand mal seizures, and my husband was not that understanding. Our marriage fell apart via affairs on his part, and my condition I'm sure was a factor. In these situations, it's difficult because so many of us are good people at the mercy of something that can be unpredictable, even with the help of therapy and medications.
This sounds a lot easier saying it than doing it obviously, but one has to develop that attitude of not letting others get us down. If they choose to look down on us for things they do not understand, they have their own issues... For many of us, epilepsy is part of who we are. It isn't going away. But that doesn't mean we are incapable of leading perfectly normal lives... nor incapable of having fulfilling relationships. Take the time to find someone who will be understanding and patient, instead of rushing through others who may not be so understanding and make you feel less than you are worth. Everyone deserves a loving relationship. I actually now found a new mate who has seizures as well, although his are complex-partial... very different, but we manage and support one another. It can happen!
Finding a support group, as Chris has suggested, would be favorable for you, if you prefer talking with someone face to face to share similar experiences. I have often found my solace in just reaching out online whenever I needed that extra support with like-minded others. Just try to remember, this is not the only thing that makes you "you"... there is so much more to you. Don't let it define you or how you let life turn out. We all at least can choose how we want to live with this. :)
~Chele
-Smile & laugh often!