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Logical suicide discussion
Tue, 02/13/2018 - 22:44I’ve read the seek therapy, don’t do it – you have too much to live for and see, etc. I have TLE with generalization. A little back story, I was in the Marine Corps (I didn’t get it because I was in country and suffered TBI) and had a few partials then the big boys hit. The first one happen when I was 25 and I have around 20 since then, I’m thirty now. I totally understand that averaging 4 a year is very mild to some other people dealing with this disorder but that doesn’t mitigate the same thought process of the of the next step. I’ve broken through every medication(s) that I’ve been on. I honestly feel I’ve lived a full life – Marine Corps, seeing the world, falling truly in love and the devastation of losing that love, graduating from college. All these milestones life in the western culture has set for us, I’ve achieved. I accepted death the first day I joined the Marine Corps in 2007. Death to me is just a day, like anyother day. Trying to have a logical conversation with my family of why it’s ok to move on ends very abruptly, so here a discussion about this seems appropriate. Please don’t take this as a selfish, all about me, don’t care about anyone else’s feelings post. But to decide when you feel that life has been fulfilled why is it not ok to say, ok it’s time for me to move on? I’m not religious so the whole sin/hell doesn’t apply to my argument. Thanks in advance for the replies to further this discussion.
I think that a lot of us
Submitted by burninginside on Tue, 2018-03-06 - 02:12
I think that a lot of us suffering from epilepsy would be jealous of you having developed it so late in life, after having achieved all those milestones that I hope to God I will someday be able to despite my epilepsy. You don't want to talk about God? Sure. Lets talk about the people you will be leaving behind. Your family, how do you think it will affect them? Will they blame themselves? Will you refusing to live your life ruin theirs? A lot of people here are all suffering with the same problems, some more than others and some in different ways than others. I can never commit suicide because I have seen the mess it leaves behind, I have tried and failed to clean up the damage it can cause. The seizure I had a couple days ago, the first of the year I nearly choked on my own blood, had it not been for a family member turning me on my side that could have been it for me. I was planning to become a para-rescue before my epilepsy hit at 18. 5 years later I am not a soldier, I am a working American civilian. My job sucks and I hate it, but I am paying my own way through college so one day I can have a chance at a better one. Maybe, just maybe I will beat the odds and be able to support a family by myself some day. One of the things I hate most about my Epilepsy is the medication, I can deal with the cuts and the bruises after a seizure but the symptoms from the medication, that is hard. I constantly feel like I am living half a life. The idea that I will die during a seizure is becoming more and more real as time goes on, to me the thought of ending my life early when I have so many close calls on a regular basis would as rash as it would be redundant. I don't feel like investing in myself is pointless because I am the one paying for it. Maybe you need to find a way to invest in yourself more. Death should never be a solution.