Conscious during grand mal?

Hi, I had my first seizure ever ( that I am aware of ) in 8/2019 and I am 60 years old. I was very aware when the seizure began ( Gran Mal ), could see my hand beat the table, feel my head whip to the side, feet tapping and see my surroundings. And then my remember only snippets, like screen shots in a movie. I felt as is something had taken control of my body,terrifying me out of my wits which led to more violent clusters/movement. In other words, it scared me so badly I seized more and harder, leading to back seizures. Eventually I woke up and learned I had been in the hospital for 4 days, of which I remember very little. Though I'm not afraid of them now, it took several months of research to learn that seizures are as individual as people and that it is possible to some  awareness.

Hi all. It looks like I'm late to the party, lol. I just posted about this subject today. I have had seizures (which are now controlled by meds) since I was 12. I am 37 now. I have had many many seizures and I was totally conscious through every single one, except my last two. It's a horrifying feeling. I could feel my eyes rolling back in my head before it started. I had a strange feeling go up my left arm and it would feel like it was twisting behind my back. I would then fall down and start convulsing. It felt like I was being electrocuted for 3 minutes straight. I could tell that I was gasping for air because I couldn't breathe. And I could hear people talking around me. Hearing familiar voices in the background made it much easier on me when I would come out of them. When I first started having them it was mostly when I woke up. I could have just gotten 10 hours of sleep and went right back to bed after because they made me so tired. As I got older, I could get up and be mostly functional within 15-20 minutes after having one. Then, my last 2 I had I wasn't awake for. I passed out while I was having it and the people I was with told me I just had a seizure. I don't know why the change. It's something I would never wish on my worst enemy. I always wondered if there was anyone else that was awake during their grand mals. And if so, were they aware if there's a certain part of the brain they start in? Why do most people seem to be unconscious through them.