Accepting the "New" Me

I was diagnosed with focal onset and generalized epilepsy with uncontrolled seizures in July of 2023 after having a seizure at work. The subsequent months put me in a fatigued state while I tried a variety of medications to control the seizures. As I write this, I’ve just started medicine number four. I’m very hopeful for a better outcome this time. 

At 54, I wasn’t sure how to handle this life-changing event. I’ve struggled to express my sadness, anger, and frustration. After being an independent career professional for over 33 years, I deeply appreciate the freedom and conveniences I’ve enjoyed most of my life. I’ve had to take a leave of absence from work and am currently restricted from driving, which is the most challenging part of this new way of life.

While I struggle to accept these changes, my family and friends have been the strength to guide me through this new phase of my life. I am fortunate to have a supportive employer and grateful for thoughtful workmates. I am very hopeful that, with the right medication, I can eventually return to work and enjoy life much more.

Through the Epilepsy Foundation, I have discovered educational and informative resources to share with my loved ones. I am also grateful for the community of individuals who have shared their personal stories. It feels good that I am not alone in this fight, and it is encouraging to know that, through shared experiences, there may be hope for the future. 

It feels good to put these thoughts in writing now that I’ve had time to reflect and accept that my life has changed. I have to take a major role in taking the first step towards my recovery. I must not be afraid to ask for help and know when to retreat when things seem chaotic. I want to turn the tide so I may continue to enjoy life with family and friends. There is something that I have yet to do, something I’m destined to bring to fruition. I don’t know what that is, but I’m still here to find a new path despite what is hopefully a temporary inconvenience.