Husband with epilepsy

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Hi! I'm new to this so I'm sorry if it's in the wrong place My husband has had epilepsy since he was a child, I experienced a seizure 2 years ago (around midnight) and he has been clear until this morning(7:20am)! He fell off the bed whilst having it and smacked his face on his bed side table, then when he became disorientated he got up and I was trying to get him to go back to bed and sit down, which most of you know is near impossible! He is extremely strong. What I'm worried about is we have 2 children together 4 and almost 1 none of which have experienced one.. Yet! All I keep thinking is what if he was carrying our 11 month old, he could have fallen on him and killed him! I know it's an awful thing to think about, and trust me I feel bad but that what if has been playing on my mind, and honestly I don't know whether I can trust him now? We both work part time so he's often alone with them do I quit my job? And stay home with the children? Do I get over my worries and trust he wont have one with my boys when they are alone? I really hope someone reads this! Because I feel completely alone and really down about all of this!

Comments

I'm not sure what advice to

Submitted by Roald on Mon, 2017-04-10 - 02:13

I'm not sure what advice to give as i am in this scenario as the husband with epilepsy, soon to be divorced with a 3 year old in the middle. Our divorce is happening due to a few different things but my seizures and response to assorted Rx's certainly has played a role. I stopped sleeping in the same bed as her because our son would often sleep together and I didn't want to have a seizure on him as the majority of my seizures happen in my sleep. Over time she got the impression that I didn't like sleeping together although we still would have sex. She has also suffered a ot of stress watching me go I through seizures, wondering when the next will be, will it be fatal, what was that sound I made, am I having a seizure now, etc?.. and has basically been driven a nervous wreck by everything which hasn't had a positive effect on me. I know it has been hard on her too so that is another reason that I slept in another bed because I'd rather save her from having to watch me and worry. We are trying to divorce in a "civil" way without declaring war but she said she talked to a lawyer and they claimed I could not be left alone with our son for more than 4 hours and that she will basically get total custody because of that medical diagnosis which I think is complete BS. I recently had a VEEG test done and I asked the neurologist and nurses about this since they tell you about other restrictions like no driving for 6 months etc. and the agreed with me. They all said that they had not heard that before about that supposed law and did not believe it to be true that I could not be home alone for more than 4 hours just for having a seizure diagnosis of some kind. They stated that in general no medical conditions can be used to take away custody of a child in a situation like mine to give sole custody of the child to the other parent except in extreme cases where I was having uncontrollable seizures on a regular basis with severe permanent mental impairment and was the only person responsible for his care. They said lawyers just fight to get as much as they can and don't necessarily play fair or try to slip things equally especially when there might be the question of child support. Iget about a 30-60 second aura of a focal temporal seizure before a full blown generalized tonic clonic seizure hits so I would know something is wrong and set my son down if I was holding him, go try to take some valium or something, lay down or go away from my son if we are together. I do not like him watching me have a seizure although he has witnessed a few in the past. If your husband has any kind of warning or premonition of an impending seizure he should be able to safely put a child down and move away. The main thing I was/am concerned about are nocturnal seizures since I have no warning they are going to happen and I could roll on top of him or punch or kick anyone next to me. That is why I started sleeping separately. I think you are right to want to be safe and be smart about it but don't worry incessantly it will just make both you and your husband feel worse. There might be some things you need to do differently but talk about it. I'm sure wants to be just as safe as you do just don't make him feel like an irresponsible threat when he wants to be a loving protector.

I'm not sure what advice to give as i am in this scenario as the husband with epilepsy, soon to be divorced with a 3 year old in the middle. Our divorce is happening due to a few different things but my seizures and response to assorted Rx's certainly has played a role. I stopped sleeping in the same bed as her because our son would often sleep together and I didn't want to have a seizure on him as the majority of my seizures happen in my sleep. Over time she got the impression that I didn't like sleeping together although we still would have sex. She has also suffered a ot of stress watching me go  I through seizures, wondering when the next will be, will it be fatal, what was that sound I made, am I having a seizure now, etc?.. and has basically been driven a nervous wreck by everything which hasn't had a positive effect on me. I know it has been hard on her too so that is another reason that I slept in another bed because I'd rather save her from having to watch me and worry. We are trying to divorce in a "civil" way without declaring war but she said she talked to a lawyer and they claimed I could not be left alone with our son for more than 4 hours and that she will basically get total custody because of that medical diagnosis which I think is complete BS. I recently had a VEEG test done and I asked the neurologist and nurses about this since they tell you about other restrictions like no driving for 6 months etc. and the agreed with me. They all said that they had not heard that before about that supposed law and did not believe it to be true that I could not be home alone for more than 4 hours just for having a seizure diagnosis of some kind. They stated that in general no medical conditions can be used to take away custody of a child in a situation like mine to give sole custody of the child to the other parent except in extreme cases where I was having uncontrollable seizures on a regular basis with severe permanent mental impairment and was the only person responsible for his care. They said lawyers just fight to get as much as they can and don't  necessarily play fair or try to slip things equally especially when there might be the question of child support. Iget about a 30-60 second aura of a focal temporal seizure before a full blown generalized tonic clonic seizure hits so I would know something is wrong and set my son down if I was holding him, go try to take some valium or something, lay down or go away from my son if we are together. I do not like him watching me have a seizure although he has witnessed a few in the past. If your husband has any kind of warning or premonition of an impending seizure he should be able to safely put a child down and move away. The main thing I was/am concerned about are nocturnal seizures since I have no warning they are going to happen and I could roll on top of him or punch or kick anyone next to me. That is why I started sleeping separately. I think you are right to want to be safe and be smart about it but don't worry incessantly it will just make both you and your husband feel worse. There might be some things you need to do differently but talk about it. I'm sure wants to be just as safe as you do just don't make him feel like an irresponsible threat when he wants to be a loving protector. 

I'm not sure what advice to give as i am in this scenario as the husband with epilepsy, soon to be divorced with a 3 year old in the middle. Our divorce is happening due to a few different things but my seizures and response to assorted Rx's certainly has played a role. I stopped sleeping in the same bed as her because our son would often sleep together and I didn't want to have a seizure on him as the majority of my seizures happen in my sleep. Over time she got the impression that I didn't like sleeping together although we still would have sex. She has also suffered a ot of stress watching me go I through seizures, wondering when the next will be, will it be fatal, what was that sound I made, am I having a seizure now, etc?.. and has basically been driven a nervous wreck by everything which hasn't had a positive effect on me. I know it has been hard on her too so that is another reason that I slept in another bed because I'd rather save her from having to watch me and worry. We are trying to divorce in a "civil" way without declaring war but she said she talked to a lawyer and they claimed I could not be left alone with our son for more than 4 hours and that she will basically get total custody because of that medical diagnosis which I think is complete BS. I recently had a VEEG test done and I asked the neurologist and nurses about this since they tell you about other restrictions like no driving for 6 months etc. and the agreed with me. They all said that they had not heard that before about that supposed law and did not believe it to be true that I could not be home alone for more than 4 hours just for having a seizure diagnosis of some kind. They stated that in general no medical conditions can be used to take away custody of a child in a situation like mine to give sole custody of the child to the other parent except in extreme cases where I was having uncontrollable seizures on a regular basis with severe permanent mental impairment and was the only person responsible for his care. They said lawyers just fight to get as much as they can and don't necessarily play fair or try to slip things equally especially when there might be the question of child support. Iget about a 30-60 second aura of a focal temporal seizure before a full blown generalized tonic clonic seizure hits so I would know something is wrong and set my son down if I was holding him, go try to take some valium or something, lay down or go away from my son if we are together. I do not like him watching me have a seizure although he has witnessed a few in the past. If your husband has any kind of warning or premonition of an impending seizure he should be able to safely put a child down and move away. The main thing I was/am concerned about are nocturnal seizures since I have no warning they are going to happen and I could roll on top of him or punch or kick anyone next to me. That is why I started sleeping separately. I think you are right to want to be safe and be smart about it but don't worry incessantly it will just make both you and your husband feel worse. There might be some things you need to do differently but talk about it. I'm sure wants to be just as safe as you do just don't make him feel like an irresponsible threat when he wants to be a loving protector.

I'm not a father o back then

Submitted by just_joe on Mon, 2017-04-10 - 11:45

I'm not a father o back then wasn't a father. Pete was in the hospital because he was in a really bad car accident. In traction for 6 months there. Mom had to work and I had a paper route and worked in a garage after school. Brother was a bus boy at the restaurant Mom worked at. SO I was the one that took care of Tim. I am the one that had and still has seizures. It was my job to keep an eye on him and take care of him. I still had my homework to do and fixing dinner, changing him. No pampers back in the 60's. So I figured out ways to take care of him and keep him from tumbling off the couch and keep myself from landing on him if I had a seizure. I had no seizures in the year plus of taking care of him.If your husband went 2 years without a seizure then HWO KNOWS how long he will go this time. If this was the first in that period of time then he needs to talk to this neurologist especially if he has gained or lost weight because adjustments to his dosages may be all that is needed..

Don't worry too much. While

Submitted by mereloaded on Fri, 2017-04-14 - 07:59

Don't worry too much. While is wise to take precautions, don't stop living because of this. If his condition is stable, there is no reason to worry. Secondly, epilepsy episodes can be somewhat predictable, you said he has them in his sleep or first thing in the morning, then that is the patters. Most epilepsies are sleep/awakening related. One hour after awakening is the danger spot. Of course being very sick or having received stressful news are also triggers, so take precautions then. Your husband is an adult and he can tell if he is not feeling well. If so, he should tell and since you have been together for so long, you know what the warning signs are, so prepare accordingly. Having epileosy doesn't prevent people from being wonderful parents. Another advice is to have the changing table lower to the floor perhaps. Your baby will soon become a toddler and you will have less to worry. Good luck .