Kepprage- I am going to loose everything

Hi all,

I have been an epileptic for more than 20 years. I have been on half a dozen different meds like Depakote , gabapentin, phenetek - phenytoin dilanton a few others but now I am on keppra.. phenytoin worked the best but I always ended up with toxicity and now have osteoporosis of -2.90 and getting worse. Keppra from the absolute beginning was trouble. 12 years ago I was in a car accident (not seizure related) it cause my seizures to intensify. it also left me with several broken vertebrae. it also started my neuropathy. My doctor told me I couldn't work and I needed to find a hobby. I figured I would do photography. I was on a bridge taking pictures of the creek 60 feet below when I had a partial that knocked me off the bridge I quickly came two and was able to get my feet under me. This saved my life. I rebroke my back and neck, and this time jaw. I was placed in a wheelchair. All my doctors except my family practice doc thought I was trying to commit suicide (which has NEVER EVER been the case) And anyone like me knows a doctor only hears what he wants to hear. several surgeries to fix my back landed me on morphine. The doctors decided to change me to 2k of keppra er. ..I immediately saw the changes. I was hoping I could go back to the old me. I know now that person is gone. My wife who is active duty military (I mention because I am receiving military care) She told me she felt that I was giving up on myself. This was the first sign of Kepprage! I didn't want to loose her so I stopped my morphine and because I did it cold turkey and with out doctor care I wound up in the hospital one evening after being discovered passed out on one of my evening walks.--- there is some history. Now I am scaring my family because of my out bursts. I will admit that I missed a few doses because my wife came home from a deployment and I wanted to have relations with her (hard to do on keppra) but it may have caused me to loose my family. I had a day of nonstop seizures of all types last week. I have not been the same or sane since. I really am at my wits end... I can not fly off the handle like this. I need help...... I feel like my life has been taken from me. I am not at all the caring and kind person I use to be,