Empathy: My Sharpest Sword

Being a design leader in a big tech company comes with great responsibility. Not only to the business but to the people you work with on a daily basis — some of which you have the pleasure of mentoring and guiding along their career journey. Responsibility, however, is a value that encompasses key aspects like empathy, which when living with Epilepsy as I do, means I have to work extra hard to make sure that not only am I responsible for peoples’ careers and well-being, but I’m also responsible for their lives as well as mine. As a Design Principal at IBM, one of the largest and longest sustaining companies in the world, I work on fascinating projects. From how we modernize global enterprises to using AI to solve critical business needs. Part of my job is to basically “walk in someone else’s shoes” and creatively solve their problem so that they can do the job they need to do, and also be delighted while doing it. The other aspect is to be an influencer in the design community by speaking, writing, mentoring, facilitating workshops, or by helping to evolve design culture overall. Both aspects of my job require significant amounts of empathy, and over the years, I’ve learned that it is both my sharpest sword and my weakest arrow. When I had my first seizure, I was sitting in history class, it was 7th grade, I was bored and really not listening to what the teacher was saying. I had just gotten a brand new jump suit the previous weekend and was thinking about a party I was going to attend that night. The next thing I remembered was waking up in the nurses office with the worst headache, sore jaw, lacerated tongue and the most forgetful feeling ever. For a second, I had no clue who the people around me were, and more importantly, why I was there. One second I was in a desk, and the next, in a bed. Time travel much? Over the years following that, I went to numerous doctors appointments, and took different cocktails of medications. This included going through trial and error periods while in college and in the workforce. While I needed to work to support a family, and go to college, I was also very embarrassed about my condition. I thought that nobody should feel sorry for me, or worse yet, people would think less of me because of me being epileptic. So empathy to me was a weakness that I couldn’t reveal. I was never open about my epilepsy, and in an effort to save my ego, I challenged my reality in a number of ways including using the same stimulants that my peers were using, which almost always resulted in a trip to the hospital because people thought I was “dying” when I was just having a seizure. I never seemed to understand that not only did I need to take my medicine consistently, and stop the drugs and alcohol, but I also had to start thinking about the people around me and why it was important that they "know before I show." Flash forward to my professional career. I’ve been a designer for going on 20 years with varying degrees of success and awards. I’ve had a couple of mishaps in the office, and once in a company cafeteria, but for the most part I’ve been seizure-free going on 6 years. In the past 10 years though, I’ve taken a different tactic. Throughout my journey, I’ve suffered many challenges and self-inflicted doubt, but I realized through not only being in a leadership role, and a parent, but from the design discipline, that empathy is not just one sided. It’s important to understand yourself, but it’s equally (if not more) important to understand the world around you, and the effect you have on it. With all my teams, I let them know that I’m epileptic and educate them on what to do if I happen to ever have an episode. The feedback I always get is positive, “thank you for telling me. I’ve never had experience with that before.” This in turn creates a comfortable environment for all of us to do what designers do best…walk in someone else’s shoes to help solve their problems. Empathy, my sharpest sword. I’m super passionate about epilepsy awareness but have not yet had the pleasure of being able to tell my story, or apply my craft to helping further the advancement of epilepsy related care and treatment. It’s something that I’m currently looking into and would love the opportunity to be a part of. Thank you