Complex partial seizures

Hi, I'm new to this. Anyways, I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was 16, i am 28 now. I was going into work the one morning over the summer, and crashed my truck into a tree. We thought I had fallen asleep cause it was early in the morning. But then people started noticing me zoning out a lot. Went and got tests done, and then they found out that I had complex partial seizures. I have had 2 surgeries for it. Had scar tissue taken off my brain. I'm not having as many seizures as I used too. I would have about 2 or 3 a week, now I have about 1 or 2 a month. Then I had another surgery, I forget what it was called. But they put a thing under my chest, and it runs a wire up the one nerve to my brain, and when I feel a seizure coming on, I just have to hold a magnet over the thing in my chest to stop it. Anyways, ever since the surgeries, I have become bipolar and depressed. The depression has gotten worse when my mom had committed suicide. If you knew my mom, you would of never of thought of her doing that. Again, anyways, my epilepsy has screwed me over with a lot of stuff. I have had really bad memory loss since the brain surgery, soo It has ruined one of my biggest dreams, and that was wanting to become a cop. But my other biggest dream is to get my band up and going. That's another thing that makes me upset a lot. Why is it the one thing I know I could succeed in, have to be one of the hardest things to do? I've been trying to get help with my depression, anxiety and bipolar, but nothing seems to help. I just don't know what to do anymore. Any suggestions? Thank you guys!