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I need feedback on how to deal with husband with epilepsy
Thu, 01/18/2007 - 01:49Topic: New to Epilepsy.com
My name is Tracy. My husband & I just had our 19th wedding anniversary. He was dx. with epilepsy when he was 12 and has been on 1,200 mg of Tegretol daily ever since. For thirty years he remained seizure free. He has also been bad about skipping doses for the last 30 years. Luckily, he got away with it. He is now 43. In the past 1-1/2 years he has had 9 tonic-clonic seizures. The seizure lasts 10-15 minutes and the post-ictal phase lasts 30-40 minutes. All seizures have been in the middle of the night while he's asleep and all 3 of our children have been witness several times. He believes he is not a risk because he only has seizures while he is asleep in bed. He does not believe he could have one during awake hours. The reason the seizures started back up are primarily because he continues to skip medicine. No matter how severe the seizure or the toll it is taking on all of us, he continues to fail to take responsibility for his epilepsy. I have gone so far as to audio record it all so that he can hear how he sounds and hear my daughter in the background and how scared it makes her. I am frustrated, I have lost my patience and am down right angry. I believe denial is his biggest problem. The fact that he can't get away with skipping any more points to him aging. He has a problem with the idea of aging and to admit he can't skip medicine would, to him, be admitting that he is aging. I'm not sure what I'm looking for by writing this. Perhaps advice, support, or just understanding from anyone who is in the same shoes as I. Anyone, please reply and give me some insight. I would like to know how other people with eplipesy feel about what he is going through as well as what I am going through. Any words would most certainly be welcome.
Thank You
Comments
Re: I need feedback on how to deal with husband with epilepsy
Submitted by melanie56 on Wed, 2007-02-28 - 09:21
Hi Trixy,
I am new to this site and I just read your situation. I totally understand, my husband has Epilepsy since he was 6 months old, he is now 52 years old and we have been married for 33 years. He takes 4 seizure medications, and has had a brain surgery that did not work for us. I suggest you buy a week long or 30 day medicine container, I did and I can immediately see if he has or has not taken his meds. The sad thing they really do not realize just how emotionally draining it is on those of us who have to deal with the seizures. My husband has them at night and during the day. He remembers none of it. It is frustrating, but we do the best we can. Stay strong.
Re: I need feedback on how to deal with husband with epilepsy
Submitted by KathleenM on Tue, 2007-01-23 - 14:19
Hi Tracey, I'm not in the same position but can relate in terms of having a husband who has seizures. He is 44 and suffered his first seizure a little over 3 years ago and has had 3 since. He was faithfully taking his Dilantin and after being seizure free for almost 3 years started to decrease his meds on his own. As a result he had a grand mal seizure at home in front of my 10 year old daugher and myself. He had been driving on the highway a half an hour before so it could have been fatal to himself and others. He is back on the medication but it is very hard on the family as he is in a constant state of exhaustion. I work full-time in a demanding job and do the majority of everything at home and it is hard at times. I hope for your sake your husband changes and realizes he could kill himself, his family or others if he is driving when he has one. Perhaps you could get another family member or friend of your husband to talk to him. good luck!