Good evening. Epileptic seeking guidance.

Good evening.

I'm writing here because I don't know who else to talk to and quite frankly, a doctor may know all the medical details but won't ever be able to quite fully understand this condition personally. 

 About 3 years ago I had 2 seizures, 2 nights in a row, consisting in convulsions, uncontrollable movements, tongue biting. No saliva around my mouth, noo waking me up no nothing. First of all I must mention that my seizures happen ONLY IN MY SLEEP. Never when I'm awake, I'm never aware of them, I don't wake up afterwards, there's no certain hour when they happen though most of them have been around morning time. I only know that I had one by the pain in my body/muscles like from going to the gym without warming up, all sore and of course the fact that I bit my tongue. 

 I have had no other history of such problems, no head trauma, hits or anything. Here comes the fun part. For as long as I can remember, I have trouble sleeping at night, I usually stay up till 2,3,4 am wake up at 10,11 pm, no problem. I just can't go to sleep at normal hours like normal people do. I am not a lover of chemical substances especially narcotic kinds. My only sin is weed. I have had in the past 3 years about 10 seizures, all of them as I said, during my sleep. I started thinking it was beacause of the THC. Quit, had no effect. Alcohool usage not a problem, ocasional drinker.  Had checkups done a few years back, no damage whatsoever the doctors had no "definitive diagnostic or explanation" and I was advised to investigate further. 

 Seeing as I'm more of a I'll believe it when I see it guy, I had to ptove my theory with weed and alcoohol. Tried both smoking and drinkin in order to cause a seizure. Or just one at a time for various periods of time. Or neither. Absolutely no connection. I remained a rather frequent smoker because it helped with the stress and most important of all with my sleep. Last year had 3 more over the period of 6 months, decided to try another session of checkups after my parents caught me one morning mid seizure and freaked out, called an ambulance and so on. It had all the possible tests did, no damage seen in my brain, electrical circuits working fine inside, doctor's "well edicated guess" was oh, clearly, marijuana usage. It causes the brain to hiper react to it, thus, the seizures. Imagine my amusement when I was told so.

 And then, the real fun started.. My dad being desperate to find "an instant cure" with the help of a neurologist had me take various pills that helpd with nothing but make me more agitated, feel weird, skin irritations, and so on, usual side effects of these type of drugs, from sleeping pills imagining that I don't get enough sleep so my brain doesen't get enough rest to actual seizure medication. After having another seizure, one drug finally worked. Zonegran. 

 All good and well right ? Not. I'll give it this, had no seizures since last October whatsoever. But then we have this: I've lost about 10 kgs since then, sleeping hours have been the same or worse, agitated, extreamly easy to become nervos or at times actually furious, at times finding difficult to concentrate, some times I can't find the exact words although in my head I know what I want to say ( I convine myself that's because I speak 3 languages and I live in a foreign country ), have no appetite whatsoever, I eat sometimes just to have eaten something... And I haven't even gotten to the fun part. Had problems a few times with erections. As in non existent.  Then there's the fact that (maybe I'm just being paranoid) but they don't seem to be as.. strong as before taking Zonegran, and the best of them all.. premature ejaculation. every. single. time. 10 minutes, poof. Combine that with the annoying decrease in libido and the tendency to get irritated by every single thing in a matter of seconds.. you can imagine the fun me and my gf are having. 

  It is a very difficult thing for me to post here and I would appreciate some support, information and advice on how to manage this.. condition. I've heard opinions from oh no you don't have epilepsy, just epileptic seizures to ofc u have it, get drugs for it, live the same as before. But I can't. 
  I'm taking Zonegran 100mg on a daily basis, the bonus of if being that a box of 28 costs 130€. My question is this ? Seeing as the frequency of my seizures is not that high compared to other stories I've read here and on other places, should I be safe if I take the same drug but with a smaller concentration ? 50 or 25 mg  ? Is the premature ejaculation and libido decrease a real thing cause d by the medication or was I just looking one symptom/side effect of AED found an excuse ( although I had no such problems on this scale before ) ?  Does the weight loss actually stabilise with time ? 

And excuse my lack of politness,

My name is Alex, I'm 27 years old and I live in Spain.

Thank you in advance.

Good night.