effects of epilepsy

hey everyone well my names christine and ive had epilepsy since i was 5. i had a high fever and that is what caused it. it has been rough ive had stuggles all threw high school. i see my neurologist every 6 months . ive recently had a siezure at work so i went to him and he told me about  a syndrome that could possibly occur since im older which makes the seizures more frequent. and recently, probably since i turned 18 ive become a different person. i have all this rage and depression and i dont no what its caused by. as i think about it i think it has somethign to do with my epilepsy and chemical inbalances. It scares me because i dont want to become this angry person. i dont think i can take depression meds because of the meds im oin right now so im in a bind. my neurologist told me about a surgery i can have done to take out the scar tissue that is causing them. i am so scared i dont no what to do. i feel like its the answer to my problems i wouldnt have to have seizuers i could drive and i wouldnt be such a burden on people. im so affraid of it though, what if they mess up and im brain dead for the rest of my life.  i would have to miss a couple semesters. and they would have to shave my head. i just dont nknow what to do. if i do get this surgery i can drive, i wont have these mood swings any more. im pretty sure i have the bipolar disorder. i know what everyone is going through and it sucks.