If You’re Struggling With Epilepsy, There Is Hope
It was around my 44th birthday, and I was at work when I had another “episode.” I experienced a sinking feeling, then bright color flashes, hearing changes, whole-body tingling, feeling hot, a nauseating, chemical smell, and a strong metallic taste in my mouth. I thought the way I was feeling had to do with my blood pressure, so I grabbed my blood pressure cuff to check. The next thing I knew, I was face down at my desk!
When I sat up, I was so confused. My upper arm hurt because the blood pressure cuff was still inflated, and it was pinching my flesh. I had a terrible headache and was exhausted. Then I realized I bit my tongue. Even worse was that I lost control of my bladder. I worked in a doctor’s office, but I did not call for help. I just wrapped my jacket around my waist, gathered my things, and drove myself home.
After I got home, I discussed what happened with my family, and it was decided that I really needed to be seen by a doctor. No one at work witnessed it, so it was somewhat of a mystery to me. The doctor I saw was concerned not only because I bit my tongue and lost bladder control, but because I lost consciousness for an undetermined amount of time. She believed I had a seizure.
I was shocked. I have no family history of seizure disorders, epilepsy, past illness, or head trauma that could explain it. A follow-up MRI and EEG found no brain lesions or tumors, thankfully, but I was diagnosed with left temporal lobe epilepsy.
I remember the doctor asked me if I was all right after hearing my diagnosis, and I wondered why. While I was confused, I thought I was fine, and epilepsy was not a big deal. I would soon find out how little I knew about it. As it turned out, the “episodes” I had were partial seizures, and I just did not know it.
It has been five years since my epilepsy diagnosis, and my medication is working wonderfully. I have not had another seizure. I still deal with major depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from my experiences, and sometimes I feel like another seizure might happen. I also have a horrible time with my memory.
If you are struggling with epilepsy, I hope my story can help. So many people do not understand what it is like, and they can be rude, unsupportive, and naïve. It helps to find a circle of people who understand the fears and pain epilepsy and disabilities can inflict and who can share stories of hope and inspiration too.
Reviewed By: Sara Wyen