Finding My Inner Peace

I was diagnosed with epilepsy after experiencing multiple tonic-clonic seizures in 2021. My journey has had its ups and downs and what felt like “rolling of the dice” with medications to find the right ones for me. Over time, my neurologist has concluded that I was most likely experiencing focal seizures for years before my diagnosis without knowing. 

I have felt ashamed and embarrassed of my diagnosis mainly because of people’s lack of knowledge and understanding surrounding epilepsy, including my own at the beginning of my diagnosis. I also feel bouts of guilt after a loved one watches or helps me through a seizure. It’s tough to wake up confused staring into the scared eyes of a loved one. Not to mention waking up on the floor of your job asking a paramedic, “How can I help you?” These are the stories we try to make light of after the fact, but they are serious.

An epilepsy diagnosis isn’t simple, and each person’s experience is different. For me, exhaustion, fogginess, and frustration are big hurdles. The lack of independence has been the biggest hurdle for me. The privilege of driving and owning a car is something I have taken for granted my entire adult life. When the convenience of driving is taken away, your life is uprooted in a way that makes you feel more like a child. If I don’t answer my phone, people panic (out of love and concern) and every time I have a bad headache or feel off, I can’t help the fear that starts to build up.

I get through it all with positivity, support, yoga, and meditation. Without the right attitude, the incredible support from my family and friends, and the spiritual healing of yoga and meditation, I don’t think I could push through this challenge. Yoga has changed my life physically, mentally, and spiritually. Finding my inner peace has been significant in healing my mind and body and I encourage everyone to find that for themselves.

I also think people need to be persistent in seeking healthcare providers as partners in their care. I saw multiple neurologists before finding the best care for my situation. Surround yourself with love and support where possible. I wouldn’t be where I am today without the people around me.

Each time I have a seizure, I hope that it will be the last one. I decided to tell my story because I have been encouraged by and grateful for all the other stories I have read. I hope my story can be just as helpful for someone else. We are not alone and supporting one another is truly life-changing.