Find Your Support

At age nine, I had my first of many tonic-clonic seizures. "Pinched nerve," said the ER doctor, a baffling explanation and the beginning of my 15-year journey looking for answers and help. Most challenging, however, was my emotionally unavailable mother who ― still reeling from her past trauma― refused medication on my behalf, preferring to try prayer and homeopathy. Afraid to be in school, in my body, or in my life, I suffered from low self-esteem and a sense of maternal abandonment. I didn’t tell anyone about what I was experiencing and would look to hide in a bathroom stall when I felt a seizure coming on. 

Finally, at age 18, a seizure in my college dorm room led me to an epilepsy diagnosis, medication, and brain surgery to remove a benign tumor, the source of my seizures all along. While recovering, I started painting thank you cards for the many friends who supported me. I also wrote my first children’s book. This creative diversion and “boredom buster” blossomed into a thriving author career that allows me to create children’s books with messages of love and belonging — the very messages I craved for myself as a kid with misdiagnosed seizures. Most recently, I’ve recounted my experience in a memoir called If You Were My Daughter which illuminates my journey with epilepsy and underscores how our greatest pain can become our greatest purpose. 

My biggest challenge was twofold: receiving multiple misdiagnoses from doctors who told me I was using my seizures for attention as well as a mom whose own challenges thwarted her ability to help me in the ways I needed. How I overcame them was getting to 18 when I could take charge of my health and become my advocate. It was a lonely journey at times that had long-term repercussions on my mental health, but I am proud of the way I've been able to use my hardship to help others through my writing. 

Because I know first-hand the difficulties of living with epilepsy physically and emotionally, and I want to be an encouragement to others. I want them to feel seen and understood. I have been a volunteer with the Epilepsy Foundation in various places I've lived from leading an art therapy group to first aid training for school bus drivers. I've also shared my story and books at local events and galas. 

We heal by being witnessed, and I want my story to be a caring witness to others. I encourage other people impacted by epilepsy to find your support. Find the people, doctors, friends, and communities who can be present for you and your journey. The very nature of epilepsy is its unpredictability. Knowing who can help shepherd you on your journey can make all the difference.