Don't Lose Hope

I was just a little kid, only 2 years old, when my seizures started. My parents and doctors thought it was because of a fever, but when I turned 8, we found out I had epilepsy. The seizures were happening all over my brain - frontal lobe, left lobe, right lobe. For 10 long years, seizures have been a part of my life. As a child, it was tough. I would fall at school, and because the seizures made me black out, I could not even remember what happened. The medicine I had to take made things worse because I had so many side effects.

Every day was a battle, but I fought hard. I took my medicine right on time, no matter what. I prayed with all my heart, hoping for a miracle. I pushed my body through exercise, even when it felt impossible. I found peace in meditation, trying to calm the storm in my brain.

Still, the heartbreak came. My doctor's words hit me like a punch to the gut, "You need to stop playing netball and swimming," they said. It felt like they were ripping away a piece of my soul. Those sports weren't just games to me - they were my life, my passion, my escape. It didn't stop there. They also told me I could not drive. Another dream shattered and another piece of normal life was taken away. It felt so unfair, and I wondered what I did to deserve all of this.

That is when things got dark, and I started having thoughts about ending my life. Depression hit me hard. I believed no one would ever love me because of my epilepsy. It felt so hopeless. Even now, as a university student, life isn't easy. For the past four years, my epilepsy has been bad. I have fallen on the streets, fallen off chairs, and even ended up in the hospital. 

Yet, despite the darkness, there are bright spots. My family, especially my mom, has been amazing. Every single day, without fail, she gives me my medicine on time. My best friends stuck by me through all the hard times at school. Even in my darkest moments, I refuse to give up hope and continue to think better days are coming. Sometimes, that whisper is barely audible over the roar of my fears and frustrations and some days it is louder, but it is always there. I picture myself one day, free from seizures, back on the netball court, or driving behind the wheel of a car. Maybe it's just a dream right now, but it's my dream, and not even epilepsy can take that away from me.

Life can be tough, and sometimes it feels like everything is going wrong. You might want to give up, run away, or worry that even those who care about you will leave. Don’t lose hope, though. Remember to take care of yourself. Get the medical care and medicine you need. Pray if it brings you comfort. Never forget that you matter, and you are important. Keep going, one step at a time. Believe in yourself, because I believe in you.

Above all else, I want to share this: I know it's hard and there are days when it feels impossible, but I’ll say it again, do not lose hope. Your life matters and you are special, just the way you are. Epilepsy doesn't define you - your strength in facing it does.