The Art of Taking It Day by Day

When I was 5 years old, I was on my way to a friend's birthday party. When we arrived, my mom noticed I wasn't responding at all, and it was later revealed that I had an absence seizure. Shortly after, I was diagnosed with tonic-clonic, previously called grand mal, seizures. That diagnosis changed everything. 

I’ve had doctor's appointments after doctor's appointments. I almost drowned in a bathtub, burned my shoulder from boiling water, and hit my head way too many times due to having seizures. My parents are way more overprotective of me than they are of my younger siblings, so I still struggle with feeling like I'm always being babied. My whole childhood and teenage years were nothing like my friends'. There were times I just wanted to run away and make all of it go away because I hated it all – medicine, doctor’s appointments, and EEGs. I still hate hospitals because they're just bad omens to me. I still have a fear of going out because of the fear of having a seizure in front of people, and my biggest fear is that someone will record a video of it! Right now, I'm on medication for epilepsy, and I go day by day.

Growing up, I was the only one in my family who had this condition, and no one around me could relate to any of what I went through. My family is there for me, but do they truly understand? I had to go through that feeling for a long time, and I was very bitter for a long time. I felt like that one weird kid. It wasn't until I became an adult that I started to just embrace what I have. As an artist, I use it to cope when things get bad, and I teach people about epilepsy to have more people know what epilepsy truly is. When I got a part-time job, after having a seizure at work, I met a girl who also worked at my store who had epilepsy. That was the first time I had ever talked to someone who could relate to what I felt. To this day, I still suffer from depression, and my memory is definitely worse than those around me, but I've been trying not to let that pull me down, and seizures can't stop me.

As someone who felt like they had literally no one to rely on and no one who could relate to in some of their darkest moments, I want my story to be something that maybe someone out there can relate to. No one should be alone in this. Thank you to my family, who drive me places and are my biggest supporters. I love you guys a lot.

To anyone on a similar journey - keep going. Epilepsy is tough to live with. As someone who spent a decade being bitter about how much I hate my luck in the health department, we can only be miserable for so long before we just have to embrace our inner challenges and say, "Hey, I may not like you, but we're chill!"