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happiness
Wed, 05/02/2007 - 03:34its hard to be happy when you have no control over your life. i live as a prisoner in my own home. i have no will power. it takes days to accomplish things that require just minutes. i am a burden to my family. i want to die but i cannot because suicide is shameful - it will bring sadness to my family.
i am stuck. i am stale. my pride has disappeared. i have no hobbies. at the moment the joy in my life consists of the nba playoffs. what will i do? i dont know.
i hope i die during my next seizure because it will mean i did not commit suicide.
Comments
Re: Re: happiness
Submitted by rajuncajun on Fri, 2007-05-11 - 09:22
Wow...I really am gonna sound like a jerk here, so bear with me for a minute, ok? I originally signed on here for help with my grown daughter, and I got it. Great, nice, wonderful. Then I got to reading, and found out that you guys are struggling like this. So I'm "coming out" so to speak... I'm 50, and was born with epilepsy. I've pretty much seen it all, you guys. I mean, how many of you can say you recall awakening from a seizure on the playground surrounded by your classmates kicking you and spitting on you whilst calling you possessed? And all this at an upscale private school, in the early 1960's. Ya know, I feel the things you all feel, and I didn't even know others felt them. Sometimes I want to die too. Sometimes I get sick of being this way. But I have my life. I can breathe, I can feel. I can love. I can have sex, I can smile, I can paint, I have grandchildren now. I have LIVED. It hasn't always been easy, or fun. VERY few people know, or understand me. I tried suicide once. I failed. Thanks to a seizure. Now I have a better life and better meds. Talk to someone, yell at someone. Get on better anti-depressants. Depression is a natural side effect of epilepsy. I guess what I'm fussing at you guys for is just to tell you to STOP this suicide talk, and get up, get out, and get on with life. It IS worth it. I know. I've done it. I'm doing it.
With love,
Mary
If life gives you a lemon, make lemonade. However — if life gives you a pickle, you might as well give up, because pickle-ade is disgusting
Re: Re: Re: happiness
Submitted by lisaltstheresa on Fri, 2007-05-11 - 10:35
Hi Mary
loved what you said. lol about the pickle. That was a good way of putting it. I have dealt with it almost as long as you. And at first you shove it aside then epilepsy sorry to say kind of grows on you. You just deal with it the best you can. You have to. In order to make yourself happy you have to deal with it the best you can and keep moving. VOlUNTEER, ANd get out. FOr I was miserable till I started to do all those things.
take care
Lisa
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/EpilepsyApproach1/
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/EpilepsyApproach/
http://www.sleep-safe.co.uk/id90.htm
Re: happiness
Submitted by jacky99 on Fri, 2007-05-11 - 03:56
i know how you feel. ive considered suicide many times, who's going to notice that i'm gone right? people are going to notice. just tell yourself that you are not going to let this win. trust me im just starting to realize this and it is very hard to do. u'll get out of this rut. im not trying to sound like the poster board for a crisis chatline but u know... it can get better. think of a goal you want to reach and do what you have to do to reach it. mine is to move out of the twon im living in. it will take your mind off the seizures. and talk to people if they seem like they dont want to listen then write it down and get your frustrations out or email me. i'll listen :) dart73 (a member of this forum) says hi and he hopes things turn around for you :)