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happiness
Wed, 05/02/2007 - 03:34its hard to be happy when you have no control over your life. i live as a prisoner in my own home. i have no will power. it takes days to accomplish things that require just minutes. i am a burden to my family. i want to die but i cannot because suicide is shameful - it will bring sadness to my family.
i am stuck. i am stale. my pride has disappeared. i have no hobbies. at the moment the joy in my life consists of the nba playoffs. what will i do? i dont know.
i hope i die during my next seizure because it will mean i did not commit suicide.
Comments
Re: Re: Re: happiness
Submitted by lisaltstheresa on Fri, 2007-05-11 - 08:35
Katja
That is exactly what I did. I have a family and I feel it is not fair to them. I dont cry as much anymore. But I know in the past that is exactly what I would do. I would fight not to cry, and just fight to smile and especially with my family. At least that is how I was years ago. I believe the meds causes us to feel this way.
And for those talking about suicide, please dont go that direction. If you are feeling this way, talk with your doctor and tell him. It is possible it is the meds.
If you need to talk to someone, I will be glad to listen just e-mail me.
take care
Lisa
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/EpilepsyApproach1/
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/EpilepsyApproach/
http://www.sleep-safe.co.uk/id90.htm
Re: happiness
Submitted by MOLSON on Thu, 2007-05-10 - 19:45
Hey, i know what you mean. for others who spin fairytales about the meaning of life, they make things intolerable. yes i know what you feel and i've had seizure surgery and have been well over a year. the feelings stick around while the seizures disappeared. i choose to struggle everyday and almost wish a seizure did me in. i had two car accidents and thoughts about the best end. in the end, the choice is ours. good luck, if you have any answers let me know?
Re: happiness
Submitted by sackofrice on Sun, 2008-07-13 - 19:59
i have pretty much recovered from my addiction but it seems i was a lot happier when i was still smoking weed everyday. now that i actually have wants in my life i understand now why i loved smoking so much: i didnt want to do anything with my life while intoxicated. now that i do i am rejected often and cant even leave the house when i want to.
after all these years of people telling me to get hobbies it seems i cant have the ones i want. i guess its still all about money. if i had enough money i could take a taxi anywhere i want to go.
another thing:
i finally opened up to my friend and discussed how epilepsy made me feel. i have averaged about 15 a year the past 4 years and i do not drive. i told him what i couldnt do and all he said was to think of the pros and not just the cons. i dont understand what the pro is about having seizures.
all it did was make me want to beat him up. i guess we are never going to discuss this again.
i have pretty much recovered from my addiction but it seems i was a lot happier when i was still smoking weed everyday. now that i actually have wants in my life i understand now why i loved smoking so much: i didnt want to do anything with my life while intoxicated. now that i do i am rejected often and cant even leave the house when i want to.
after all these years of people telling me to get hobbies it seems i cant have the ones i want. i guess its still all about money. if i had enough money i could take a taxi anywhere i want to go.
another thing:
i finally opened up to my friend and discussed how epilepsy made me feel. i have averaged about 15 a year the past 4 years and i do not drive. i told him what i couldnt do and all he said was to think of the pros and not just the cons. i dont understand what the pro is about having seizures.
all it did was make me want to beat him up. i guess we are never going to discuss this again.