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Non-participating Chat Members
Tue, 08/15/2006 - 23:16I really like chat. I do for several reasons. A major one is I get to know posters that I otherwise wouldn't. Other reasons is I can vent, get real time feedback. Others can also vent and if I'm able, I can help them and that feels good. Sometimes it's just plain fun. One of the people I really enjoyed on chat was there most nights then disappeared. I wondered why, asked and was told because many people are signed up but many of them lurked or at least never participated. That very good participant is now lost - because of the lurkers. Frankly, I'm having a problem with that too.
Tonight at one point there were 13 people signed in on chat. 4, then 3, then 2 of us were participating. Two of us said "hello" to one person and we never got a response. I finally asked, where are these people, lurking? And also said I found that rude and uncomfortable. I DO understand sitting back and reading, but not even responding? Then someone they were participating in "private chat". Well good grief get on IM then. Normally I'm not a paranoid person but some very deep topics can occur in chat and to have someone lurking or have their name there and giving no feedback is NOT a good env. for anyone to pour their hearts out. I've had several newbies over the months ask me why there are names listed, specifically one name in chat but they never participate. I didn't know at that time why, am taking the person who informed me tonight they were in private chat that must be the reason. But for a newbie who is already insecure? Come on let's please not increase their insecurity.
I'd like to request if you go to chat to participate. No one has to gab and gab but at least make your presence known occasionally. If you want a private chat? Go to IM. There is one person I see frequently and only when I forced this person to say something I got a one word answer. Is this what chat is about? It shouldn't be. Please if you want a private chat, fine. But go to IM.
Gretchen
Comments
Re: Re: Re: Re: Non-participating Chat Members
Submitted by Colina on Wed, 2006-08-23 - 14:55
Degraded? Thought this was a good chance to help others whom were'nt familar with the chat. I have never been in chat when there has been animosity and hope it never happens, but in the event that it does I would immediatly leave. This is not the place for these types of issues and I hope it stops for good. Pity? Yes, that you have put everyone on their defense mode. I highly doubt anyone will be influenced by your decision. In the past I have read post in wich you have had other issues with members and I feel so bad for them, nobody deserves lack of respect nor does anyone need stress here. Right you are that you don't know me, but to all that do, I'm sorry about this post you know(I hope)that it is not like me to respond in a non supportive way. Okay where's the chocolate!
Re: Re: Non-participating Chat Members
Submitted by Cathy_C on Mon, 2006-08-21 - 17:00
Mari'
Don't you dare leave the chat room. After reading all this stuff about the chat room I got down to business and sent a inquiring
e-mail to "My Epilepsy" about "Chat room rules".
I asked them if it had it written down anywhere in the rules that someone who just wanted to read what was going on, but really didn't feel up to chatting couldn't stay in the chat room? He said there was totally nothing wrong with just staying idle and not chatting.
I know there are many times that I am home and am alone that I want to feel like I am not alone and I will go into the chat room and there are sometimes that I just don't feel like talking. I may say nothing. But if I see someone say hi I will respect that and reply. Sometimes the subject isn't something I may have much knowledge of, that doesn't make it so I have to leave til the subject
changes again. (for who knows when the subject goes from one thing to
another.)
Well anyways, I hope you read this Mari and stick around. Don't
feel guilty about not talking because I have it from the big guys that it is OK. So we hope you will stay around.
Cathy
Re: Re: Re: Non-participating Chat Members
Submitted by gretchen1 on Sat, 2006-08-19 - 22:07
I have Mari's answer, and those upset by her post. I don't need to go to chat - really I don't. I can only stay a short period of time anyway, I go for periods oftime anyway, then have periods of absences. I've gotten the message. So, Mari and friends? The apparent solution is, and really I'm saying this without rancor, I'll stay off of chat. Then whatever anyone else decides to do? Is their decision not influenced by the fact I won't be participating. There. That's the best I can do, and the most I will do. I do think tho this thread at least for me started out explaining what was going on and has degraded into - what it has. It's a pity to me. Gretchen