Non-participating Chat Members

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I really like chat. I do for several reasons. A major one is I get to know posters that I otherwise wouldn't. Other reasons is I can vent, get real time feedback. Others can also vent and if I'm able, I can help them and that feels good. Sometimes it's just plain fun. One of the people I really enjoyed on chat was there most nights then disappeared. I wondered why, asked and was told because many people are signed up but many of them lurked or at least never participated. That very good participant is now lost - because of the lurkers. Frankly, I'm having a problem with that too. Tonight at one point there were 13 people signed in on chat. 4, then 3, then 2 of us were participating. Two of us said "hello" to one person and we never got a response. I finally asked, where are these people, lurking? And also said I found that rude and uncomfortable. I DO understand sitting back and reading, but not even responding? Then someone they were participating in "private chat". Well good grief get on IM then. Normally I'm not a paranoid person but some very deep topics can occur in chat and to have someone lurking or have their name there and giving no feedback is NOT a good env. for anyone to pour their hearts out. I've had several newbies over the months ask me why there are names listed, specifically one name in chat but they never participate. I didn't know at that time why, am taking the person who informed me tonight they were in private chat that must be the reason. But for a newbie who is already insecure? Come on let's please not increase their insecurity. I'd like to request if you go to chat to participate. No one has to gab and gab but at least make your presence known occasionally. If you want a private chat? Go to IM. There is one person I see frequently and only when I forced this person to say something I got a one word answer. Is this what chat is about? It shouldn't be. Please if you want a private chat, fine. But go to IM. Gretchen

Comments

Re: Non-participating Chat Members

Submitted by Colina on Wed, 2006-08-16 - 13:06

Gretchen. I like to chat aswell and enjoy all the different aspects of it, be it venting, joking, supporting,informing or just plain yaking about intrests. When i'm waiting for someone to enter the chat room or see that someone is not responding I say they're in the "foyer", just a little joke of mine. To me lurking sounds creepy. I myself sometimes don't say anything because...either I jumped up to do something quick and forgot to brb, said brb and it ended up being a very long time, was responding to a thread or blog( I type very slow lol), the site may have froze on me,don't want to interupt a conversation or got an important message from elsewhere on my comp. I also am guilty of private chat because some times a member will come in and I want this person to feel welcome and stick around so I will explain to them they are not being ignored it's just sometimes the conversation going on needs to be finished first. Sometimes I would like to finish a conversation with someone in private simply because I don't want to be rude to others in the room by dominating the conversation. There are times also where I'm just not interested in the current topic and will jump in later, after all just bacause i'm not interested does'nt mean the topic should close. I find it odd that this person you speak of left due to "lurking" when this site and the wonderful people within it are such a tremendous support. I could list many other reasons it could be, but bottom line is no one gives out too much personal info in there, so should it realy been given a second thought? Example this has taken me a very long time to write bacause A. I'm a slow typer. B. I want to be very careful not to offend anyone and C. I can hope that our newbies will read this so they may understand and not be reluctant to just hangout abit before jumping in. I would like to request though that chatters try to post a short blog about themselves so that we memory challenged people have something to refer to, instead of repeating questions,until becomming more familiar with a person. I'm frequently asking members to do this and now have been dubbed the blog miester. LOL. Hope you have a good day and that in no way this response offends you. Smiles your way!

Re: Re: Non-participating Chat Members

Submitted by gretchen1 on Wed, 2006-08-16 - 17:47

Barbie I hope you know I hold you in the highest regard and would be very worried if I saw your name up there, and you didn't respond. You're not only not a rude person. I think you're one of the most giving people I've ever known. Colina I don't know you as well but I do understand your post. Well. Guess it's just my problem then. I do use private chat but for very short conversations. A page long at most. I don't like the name lurker either and wouldn't want to be one, but I didn't invent the name either. If the shoe fits...... But if this is only my sensitivity? So be it. And I apologize if I offended others. Gretchen

I actually have several

Submitted by aquila316 on Wed, 2006-08-16 - 18:18

I actually have several problems using the "external IM system" and sometimes can only receive IM's using the "internal IM system" while in the chat room. If I have received IM's when I was offline I can pull up the window but not text...I know, it's my problem, but will be fixed shortly. I will try to be better about talking to 1 person and informing the room that I am in there to use the IM's. I'm actually usually good in participating in 2 or 3 conversations at once, but my problem is people walking into my office, or someone knocking at the door. Most times it was the puppies excaping from thier enclosure. I no longer have that problem, and at least it's somewhat humorous...I would try to grab them before they could destroy anything in my house...lol. I apologize, I was probably one of the worst ones, but I've also had a problem with power outages this summer, and in that situation it shows me as online, but out of chat...that's when Colina began asking me if I was in the Foyer. My pc is running poorly, and it takes a minute or two to boot up, and (I'm sure a few of us can understand this) sometimes I'll boot it back up, walk away, start something else, forget about it, and not look at it for another 3 hours. Once again, I apologize, I never thought of it that way, Susan