If you cant be nice than dont say anything at all

Re: Re: Re: Re: If you cant be nice than dont say anything at al

Submitted by gretchen1 on Tue, 2006-05-23 - 16:15

Oh Gosh..and dang it. ONCE AGAIN I posted postictally! EEEKKKSS. Whenever someone very kindly writes, or a reading family member says "uh, Mom?" and points out I posted PI? I shudder. I tend to do this too often and wonder why others don't feel this overwhelming compulsion I too often have TO post PI. I want to shrivel and I do have real fear often wondering what I posted THIS time because some of my PI postings have been gaspingly inappropriate. Thank you Spiz so much for explaining what I'd done and also warning people they may get a wild email from me in my PI state too as I know you've gotten plenty in the past from me and always very graciously laugh it off. Also thanks so much for those who did post with concern or sent me emails asking if I was okay. I'm having site problems. One of them is I can't seem to use the edit feature so I can't take the dang things down, as I would normally do. So there these ridiculous posts sit on this thread for all to read and maybe as Spiz or maybe it was Dayna once said, consider this a lesson in postictal. EEEKKKSSS. I do wish I wasn't always the teacher tho! MAYBE PATTY WILL TAKE THEM DOWN FOR ME (hint). I did get so many kind emails wondering if I was okay. Usually when I'm hospitalized in unstable condition one of my daughters, Robin, comes and stays with me, which she tag teamed this time with my husband. Robin came back to my house to take care of my babies, give my husband some time with me, and I'd asked her to check my emails. I've been waiting forever for an email from the DMV, asked her to check my emails for that and she told me I'd gotten a lot of inquiries as to how I was but she wasn't sure how to answer. I did tell her something, now I can't remember what it was and I know she answered a few people. I think it was CAT who posted I was hospitalized, and thank you CAT. She stopped responding after that was posted plus she returned to the hospital. I read someone disappears or is hospitalized and I always worry and wonder - why for? I am hospitalized fairly frequently although I've been having a very good run of luck for a year but a few years ago I realized people aren't just curious but viably concerned. So, I decided when I do disappear, or post PI (gulp) I should give a brief explanation what was going on to be fair to those who express concern. I have never been able to stabilize my epilepsy in any way. I definitely know my triggers too because they reliably throw my brain into a fritz. Prolonged stress is deadly to me and that is at least part of what my problem was and I'm still battling it. I think we all go thru times when it seems like it's raining down adversity and I'm going thru a period like that right now. My husband's health is frightening, his ability to work is very diminished, he's probably going to be ordered off work permanently tomorrow, he lost a week's pay which has been financially crippling, than my Disability check came - garnished by the IRS in a big percentage then every little thing that happened in my life became huge and I? Started sz'ing. I was in the ER 3x for a status sz in 2 days so I was admitted. No one knows why right now and I'm on medication for it which is minimally working but I've been so darn tired lately, didn't know why and found out my blood pressure is nearly nonexistent. I'm back in liver failure again which usually creates pancreatitis which I've also been free from for, I don't know, quite awhile. It comes and goes but it sure makes me feel lousy and I'm under treatment for that. Also I've always had trouble with my AED blood levels zooming into the toxic range but now they're having a very hard time getting it up high enough to be in the therapeutic range and are guessing it's because my liver isn't metabolizing it right. I'm being treated for all of this still. I still have a lot of emotional issues that I want settled right now, but of course, that's rarely how it works. But when I do have a lot of emotional issues and I start sz'ing that badly? Postictally my emotions go into hyperdrive and that's when I start shooting off crazy emails and posting PI. It's like postictally if I'm already in an emotional bind it's greatly intensified after a sz. I was told I was quite a handful, combative, loud and obnoxious recovering from the first status sz I had. Always great to know and hear (not). I'm sure all this will be sorted out plus I'm a big believer of the mind/body connection and I do think all the stress I'm under right now is surely effecting maybe even causing the problems I'm having. I have great doctors and I know this will get sorted out. But for now? I'm still not real stable, I'm having incredible site problems, I'm afraid of posting PI again and not being able to take it down later when I find out I did so I am not going to be a participant or only post, if it takes my post, on threads I really feel I can add something to. Or something. Sheesh I'm being kept so sedated not to sz it's hard to write! Thank you all great people who shared your concern. Funny how a thread that started out - let's all be nice, ended with so many - being so nice. Gretchen