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I feel dumb
Sat, 09/15/2007 - 22:43Seriously, I feel stupid. I used to be a very articulate person, now I can barely say the word aloud. There's alot of words like that, even when I'm typing things get messed up. Words that sound alike, that I never had a problem distinguishing one from another before, get switched around. But my speech is by far the worst. I am finding it easier not to talk than to try and get what I'm trying to say from my brain and out through my mouth in an understandable manner. Sometimes I go to speak and everything will literally come out backwards, or the words aren't in the correct spots in the sentence, where they should be. And quite frequently I come out with the wrong words altogether, ie. I want to say front and say french instead. The first letters are right, but it's a totally wrong word. People are begining to look at me like an idiot and I don't blame them, I FEEL like an idiot.
It seems like after each seizure it gets alittle bit worse. I have nightmares of being a mute vegetable by the time I'm 30.
Is this normal? Is it the medication? The seizures? My brain going dead or something? I can still learn without problems, I'm in college and the classes aren't a problem, as long as I don't have to talk.
What area in the brain is our speech located anyways?
Anyone else dealing with this?
I've read through this three times, so I'm hoping there weren't too many mistakes that I've missed, if there are I'm sorry.
Comments
Re: I feel dumb
Submitted by jacky99 on Sun, 2007-09-16 - 02:02
hi gina,
i know how u feel. im not saying im a genius but i have to say im pretty smart even though i "never did apply myself" in school. that it was never really a challenge for me.. u know. like u i was fairly articulate and my spelling... well i had top notch spelling. now i can barely string together a sentence. i forget what im talking about as im talking and i just stare at the person totally lost. the people that know me understand and try to help out and remind me what i was talking about but people that don't know me look at me like im some idiot. plus my spelling has gone down the tubes. i used to be able to type 50 to 60 words a minute with few errors... im lucky if i can get 30 because i have to stop and make sure im spelling everything properly. sometimes i just give up and say hey they can figure it out.
also like you i find it better just not to talk... in my head i sound fine... its the execution that lacking...
when life gives you lemons... smell an orange
Re: Re: I feel dumb
Submitted by Gina Marie on Sun, 2007-09-16 - 10:39
Jacky I do that as well, lose what I was trying to say in the middle of a sentence. When I'm with my family and close friends it's ok, they get it. But strangers and people at work or school don't.
When I was on trileptal it was terrible, I couldn't even remember my own name, but then at least I knew, 100% that it was the medication. I just thought when I came off it that things would get better. And I guess they did, I can remember my name now lol.
Well, if nothing else we become good listeners.
Re: Re: Re: Re: I feel dumb
Submitted by Gina Marie on Sun, 2007-09-16 - 10:36
Exactly. If I slow down and really try to focus I can usually get things out, which is why I'm mostly ok with my doctors, they actually stop to listen. most people don't though, they talk over me, or inject what they feel I was going to say over what I'm trying to say. And that's just frustrating to no end. I keep thinking I need to move somewhere where the people naturally talk really slow.