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I feel dumb
Sat, 09/15/2007 - 22:43Seriously, I feel stupid. I used to be a very articulate person, now I can barely say the word aloud. There's alot of words like that, even when I'm typing things get messed up. Words that sound alike, that I never had a problem distinguishing one from another before, get switched around. But my speech is by far the worst. I am finding it easier not to talk than to try and get what I'm trying to say from my brain and out through my mouth in an understandable manner. Sometimes I go to speak and everything will literally come out backwards, or the words aren't in the correct spots in the sentence, where they should be. And quite frequently I come out with the wrong words altogether, ie. I want to say front and say french instead. The first letters are right, but it's a totally wrong word. People are begining to look at me like an idiot and I don't blame them, I FEEL like an idiot.
It seems like after each seizure it gets alittle bit worse. I have nightmares of being a mute vegetable by the time I'm 30.
Is this normal? Is it the medication? The seizures? My brain going dead or something? I can still learn without problems, I'm in college and the classes aren't a problem, as long as I don't have to talk.
What area in the brain is our speech located anyways?
Anyone else dealing with this?
I've read through this three times, so I'm hoping there weren't too many mistakes that I've missed, if there are I'm sorry.
Comments
Re: Re: I feel dumb
Submitted by Gina Marie on Sat, 2007-09-15 - 23:09
Hi Karolina,
Thank you for your reply. I know I shouldn't stress so much about this, it's just that what used to be a small thing that happened only every once in awhile, has become a huge hurdle in my speech. It's nolonger just a once in awhile thing, it's an all the time thing. And I know, I THINK the right words, but I just can't seem to say them. And that's frustrating and I don't seem to handle frustration well apparently. I need to work on that, thank you for your input.
Re: Re: Re: I feel dumb
Submitted by coopernicus on Sun, 2007-09-16 - 02:05
Hi Gina Marie,
I have TLE, too. I am a teacher and on bad days many things come out wrong. Names are mixed up for sure - that I notice. Worse is when I am talking and the kids insist that I called a desk a best (or door, or what ever!) It is frustrating because many times I don't even know I have done it. Then I feel like they are making it up. They are little and very sweet. I don't think they are lying. It is frustrating. This has been getting worse now that I am in my 40's. It leaves me self conscious and feeling inarticulate.
I try to get really grounded and focused and slow down begore speaking. It is a struggle though. I hate speaking in front of a group because there are times when the words get all jammed up and I can't get them out in order. Like you, I know what I want to say, but my brain won't cooperate. I avoid public speaking at all costs!!!
Best wishes,
Coopernicus
Re: I feel dumb
Submitted by karolina on Sat, 2007-09-15 - 22:59
Hi Gina, it could be your meds but also sleep depravation, stress and probably the seizures themselves can cause atleast a chemical disturbance in your brain. I also have a hard time using the right words sometimes but please give yourself a break and don't internalize this so much. Tell your doctor and maybe he will make some changes with your medication.