Anyone Else??

I have been having seizures for about 10 years now. I am 32. Everyone else seems to know the type of seizures they have and why they have them, etc. I've been to several different neuologists, I don't like any of them, but they say I have Idoiopathic (excuse my spelling) seizures, meaning no one knows why I have them. I just started having them out of the blue. No doctor has ever told me what kind of seizures I have or what part of the brain they come from or any of the stuff you guys talk about on here. They act like I just don't need to know or wouldn't understand anyway. I've only had maybe half a dozen grandmal seizures, but I have these episodes (especially when I wake up or am very sleepy) where my right hand draws up and I can't control it and I feel scared or just plain bad all over and it usually makes me cry. I don't pass out from this. It might be better if I couldn't remember the feeling I get or the people staring at me. Last week when this happened, the muscle in my arm was "pulled" from this. It hurt so bad. It doesn't usually draw up that hard. Is this a seizure? Its been happening since the first grandmal. It usually happens when I start my period too. (or lack of sleep) When I have had a grandmal seizure, it always started like this, with my hand drawing up and it would move up my arm and when it got past my elbow it would be a grandmal and I would pass out. I would have this horrible dream that my body was melting. Its the worst thing I've ever experinced. I hope I haven't ask too many questions. If someone is similar to any of this, I would appreciate a response, as I feel alone in this. Thanks, Beth