EEKKSS- Incontinence worsening

When I first got E? I was never incontinent, felt so sorry for people who had that problem. But THEN I started waking up at night, several years later, urinating and I couldn't get it stopped. Worse, my legs were noodly or I couldn't stand at all, I had tremendous confusion, rarely made it to the bathroom. I went to my doctor thinking I must have much worse bladder prolapse than I thought and found out I was having nocturnal sz's and at the end of the sz the bladder sphincter holding urine in can relax, I can't control it (no kidding) which also explained why my legs were so weak, I was confused. Then someone posted a thread right after that about the same thing and I found out my symptoms were classic and shared by many. It doesn't happen with every nocturnal. I really don't know why it happens only periodically. But lately? This is really just hard for me to handle. I'm having only urine, not bowel, incontinence during the day occasionally, not always but that means I HAVE to wear incontinence products all the time. I've tried different kinds, weights, thicknesses and I really would like to know - what in the heck works? I'm sorry if this is very blunt but this problem is very embarassing. I've tried THE heaviest pad or pants they have and I can't find anything that works totally. I'm not sure why either. My urine volume my doctor tested and it's not unusually high, in fact low. Maybe the incontinence pads can not be in the right place but how can that panty be off if it's snug (aka adult diaper - MAJOR ICK). Do others have success controlling the moisutre? Good grief of all the indignities and crap I've gone thru having E? I DO wish I'd be spared this one. Gretchen