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Dating someone with epilepsy?
Wed, 04/09/2014 - 09:41Hi, I'm 17 years old and I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year now and he has seizures. He began having seizures here and there in the past year or two, it started at age 16 (he's 18 now)but it's been getting a lot worse, and a lot more frequent. I really care about him and it's beginning to worry me a lot more now. Especially because the doctors he's been going to cannot figure out what causes his seizures and the medication they've given him hasn't been working. I've read plenty of articles about how to treat someone when they have a seizure & articles about how people with epilepsy should discuss it with their significant other, but there's not much information on what to do when you're dating someone with epilepsy. I just don't know how to help him, or how to react in these situations, or how to talk to him about it, because this is a pretty touchy subject with him. I just don't know how to handle this, and I'd like to hear opinions on how I can.
Rule number one, it looks
Submitted by mereloaded on Wed, 2014-04-09 - 20:03
Rule number one, it looks scarier that it really is. So don't panic. Most seizures are self resolving and don't grant an ambulance ride. He will get back to his own self in a matter of minutes, so no need to push the panic button. Two. Most people never know why they have epilepsy. The truth is that most people don't know. Unless they had brain trauma or infection or tumors or runs in the familia, most epilepsies are of unknown causes (called idiopathic) and that accounts for most patients. Doctors focus on treatment, not cause, because it doesn't change treatment and no one really knows why. Neurology is uncharted territory, even today with so many medical advances. It is a touchy subject for him because he doesn't want to freak you out, or be treated like some weirdo. He just wants to be a teen like everyone else, because he is just a teen. How can you help/ react. Be supportive and understanding. Epilepsy is an isolating condition because people don't know what to do. There is nothing to do other than to snap back to normal just as he does, listen of he wants to talk about it, don't force the conversation. If he says he is ok, then he is ok, end of story. He doesn't need to be babied and he doesn't want to be a burden on anyone. Be kind, be cool and reassure him that things will be ok. Epilepsy is treatable. It gets bad in the teenage years but as doctors figure out what is the best treatment for him, things will get better. Yes, epilepsy affects everyone, family members, loved ones yes, people around it may be shocked and scared, some friends go away because they are too afraid, yes, some people cannot get over it and yes, some others may even get PTSD. This is all real, because it is hard as nails to see your loved one suffer, but you are a woman you are invincible, you can do everything that you set your mind to do, you can handle this, that is why God put us women in this works, because we are strong! I commend you for your kindness and your willingness to know more. Best wishes.