Working with epilepsy

CDC funded page

Not a CDC funded Page

Has anyone ever been in a position due to their seizures and treatment where they have had to step back and say "It seems to be in everyone's best interest if I leave this job."? I'm finding myself there right now. I'm full, overloaded, and tired. I'm weak and stressed and gaining weight. I have more to do than I can handle. My boss has been very understanding in giving me the time I need for appointments. Yet, when I go to speak to him to follow up with him, he sits and points out all the areas in which I am failing. It is hard. My brain is mush. I'm broken. How do you deal with this in the workplace?

Comments

Re: Basically by saying do the

Submitted by fzMousie on Sun, 2006-09-24 - 10:17

First, I have only been in the workforce for about 3 years. Second, I was like that, willing to work until 6 or 7pm. However, I am starting to wonder why on earth I am doing it, when I know the stress is largely responsible for my increase in seizures. I think my perspective is different because all of this is new to me. On the one hand, I will not let it stand in my way. On the other, I do not see why I should have to put in so much extra just to stay on top of everything. Especially not when that extra is putting my health at risk. I cannot work from home. I don't have access to my files. I am the sort of person that the more I agree to do, the more gets piled on me TO do. I just am at my breaking point and have had enough. The other difference in our perspective is that my husband is the primary breadwinner and will likely always be. He has more education and has a much more stable source of income. He CAN and DOES put in hours from home and is on call most of the time (he is a network admin for a large university). On top of that he runs a consulting business and teaches. My job is leaving me with little or no time to cook meals and keep the apartment clean. I would much rather do those things and look after my little family then give everything I have to a place that doesn't care about me and have nothing left over for myself or my husband. While my income is really nice and is allowing us to save for a home faster, it isn't really necessary. I resent not being able to give 100% to my job. I have always been able to do that. I resent my own weakness and limitations. I haven't grown up with this and I'm not used to rearranging my life for something so seemingly stupid. I hate not being able to drive myself and being so dependant. Most of all, I am angry that my boss can say he understands and tell me to look after myself, but then turn around and expect ridiculous hours out of me and berate me for not getting everything done. Even for a healthy person, this is a two person job. I am one person doing a job that under ideal circumstances requires two people, and I'm not there mentally 50% of the time. I cannot remember from day to day what I have done or how to do it. I have written down how to do every part of my job. Even with that, I still can sit staring at a pile trying desperately to remember what comes next. Maybe you're used to it, and that's great for you. I'm not!

Re: Working with epilepsy

Submitted by GodivaGirl on Thu, 2006-09-21 - 19:56

I honestly don't have the answers on how to deal with seizures and being epileptic in the workplace. These days I find the company I currently work for to be one where "anything I say can & is used against me..so basically it's like shut the hell up & do the damn job!" FYI: I work in Information Technology. I started at this place as an Information Systems Analyst/Consultant. They knew from the day they hired me I was epileptic, see my neuro every 3-6 mths and that I don't drive. In consulting/operations (that's the department) I guess there was far more travel to get billable work. The standard is at the end of each business quarter consultants are to be 70% billable. Not driving made that hard. So, with no sales background at all - they moved me to marketing lead generation (a.k.a. telemarketing)...that happened in February. No one helps me, except the guy I live with who happens to work for a lot of call centres at times. I have great technical knowledge but suck on the phones. In June I started on Keppra (add to that Topomax & Clobazam). I told my boss that I was feeling tired because of the med transitions and it's going to take time to adjust. Well, just last week he told me my summer stats sucked & he expects better numbers soon or I might as well quit. I pretty much give up. I'm looking to get out of IT and into a legal assistant role (I went to university for sociology/criminology) have just been in IT for almost 10 years. Time will tell. About all I can tell you is always be honest so you have a case for wrongful termination if need be. My boss knows he's screwed in that sense right now, so I always have my job until I find a new one. I told them in Jan/Feb to bear with me while I dealt with some family stuff since my grandpa passed away with cancer, and I've always leveled with them re: seizure frequency and meds. As a side note - this generally annoys the hell out of me, so I find a gym membership has really helped me be less stressed at work. Good Luck. Hope things are better where u are than in Ontario, Canada Erin

Re: Re: Working with epilepsy

Submitted by fzMousie on Thu, 2006-09-21 - 20:50

Just to clarify, this isn't at all about wrongful termination. They WON'T fire me and I know it. But inside myself, I know they need more than I can give. Honestly, they have been very good and my work impacts EVERYONE around me. When people are counting on you and you hit a point where you know inside you that you cannot deliver, it's time to step back and see it as neutrally as possible. I've been absolutely upfront and honest, and my boss has been great about giving me the time I need.... but then he contradicts himself when he points out what I'm not doing. I'm painfully aware of what I'm not doing.