trying to live with this

Staci, I want to share something that I live my life by. I have always said "I have epilepsy, but epilepsy doesn't have me!!!!!!!!". As hard as it may be at this point to think that try your hardest to. Life will get better. I was always in a big pity party. I had really had small auras that I didn't know what they were until I was diagnosed with the epilepsy at age 30. Before then I did graduate from High School, went to work as a CNA in a nursing home. Married and had 3 children, went on to Medical school and graduated from there. Shortly after going thru Medical school I was diagnosed with the epilepsy. After deciding not to take a chance in working in the medical feild afraid of what I might do during a seizure to a patient I went to work as a Vet tech/ Kennel Manager. I wasn't in a very good marriage at the time and finally divorced and moved back to Maine from Texas to live (Maine being my home). When I got home, 6 months later my baby brother was killed in a motorcycle accident. So to say the least I felt pretty crappy. I felt life just closing up on me. Then in 2000 my life changed for the better, I remarried a man who truely loves me and stands beside me, I have my license back and am working part time in a Medical Research Laboratory and am going for Brain Surgery for my seizures on October 12th. I will be going to work full time after the surgery and I went to a job interview yesterday and they told me good luck with the surgery and to call them as soon after the surgery is done and I have recovered. So I have a job in the Medical Research feild that I have a passion for waiting for me. I say all of this to prove a point. I turned my thinking from the negitive to the postitive and things totally changed for me. Hun, don't let the epilepsy take your life away from you. I found that your true friends will stand by you always and it is best to explain exactly what it is. Please take your meds, it you have to buy a pill holder that you can place by your tooth brush and take them when you brush your teeth. The medication is the first step to stopping the seizures. Ask your neurologist is you may be a candidate for the brain surgery. Who knows what he/she will say. I would definately lay off drinking. Put the positive attitude in effect and put your health in as important to you. You may still be young and are thinking there is no hope at the end of the road, but from experience from a bad past with an epilepsy history you can come through this. You have definately come to the right spot. There are so many nice people here who are so willing to talk to you and who can support you in your bad days. There are many answers here to be found. Just keep your head up and keep saying and reminding yourself the saying I told you at first. "I have epilepsy, but epilepsy doesn't have me" I wish you the best of luck and am here if you need to talk to someone. If you wish to you can add me to your friends list and you can IM me whenever ya see me online. God Bless you and I will keep you in my prayers. Life will get better. ((((((HUGZZZZZ)))))) Cathy

I know exactlly how you feel staci17 I am age 44 and everyday I feel guilty because I have to depend on others all the time. I can't and will probably never be able to drive a car because of this I feel confined or caged in because I still have to live with my parents so they can take care of me. I have anywhere from 4-6 grandmals a year and about 5 years ago I started to have small tonic -clonic seizures almost daily.Sometimes I would become incontinent while I would be at work. I had to start bringing a change of clothes each day.I take 22 pills a day and i also have a agal nerve implant yet I still am having seizures. I think the best advice to give you is just hang in there and don,t let what other people say get to you.you should also let your principal of your school know what the teachers are saying because they most of all should not make fun of you. they are there to help you not hurt you! I hope everything goes well fo you.