Question- Do you know what's going on during your seizures?

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I've been told my seizures start as Simple Partials(my aura), then progress to Complex Partials and then to Secondary Generalized grand mals. Most of what I've read says you lose consiousness or have change in thinking during this. I don't. I am fully aware 98% of the time. My thinking isn't compromised. Exp...I was driving a car, felt my aura immediatly put car in park, even took keys out of ignition---my friend kept asking me what I was doing..I knew, but I couldn't speak to explain it to her and immediately had a grand mal....during the grand mal, i was aware of her getting out of the car i think i scared her half to death. Another exp was I at home aura started moved quickly to seizure. I knew my brother was the only one home and in the basement. I made my way to stairs , i couldn't speak and was jerking, i also knew i shouldn't try to walk down stairs. so I sat down by back door and used my jerking arm to repeatly pound on the back door, knowing he would hear and wonder who was at the door. He came up to find me having a sz. Is anyone else aware during their grand mals. It's a blessing i guess, but also a curse. It's so scary becuse you feel and know what's happening to you and you can hear all the panic around you.

Comments

Re: Question- Do you know what's going on during your seizures?

Submitted by solis on Wed, 2006-07-12 - 13:25

Thing is..if you wern't aware you'd also have no idea such was even the case, unless another person told you what had occurred. People who progress to tonic clonics or other generalized seizures often know due to altered circumstances after the fact. And, during that time, while you may be aware of some things but your awareness is obviously infected. Btw... auras are known to suddenly stop... there is no pattern. So if you are driving and depending on an aura to warn you, you are still at risk. I doubt your insurance or license is even valid either, since they obviously don't know about your uncontrolled E. ~sol

Re: Re: Question- Do you know what's going on during your seizur

Submitted by gretchen1 on Wed, 2006-07-12 - 15:07

The definintion of a tonic/clonic includes unconsciousness. Therefore I wonder is this the sz you're having. For instance a Jackson Seizure, one sided tonic/clonic, you are conscious. Is this what you're having? You sounded as if you were rhythmically jerking or having clonic movement at least on one side yet you must have been able to walk to that door at least on one leg but in a tonic/clonic, watching my son, I know he couldn't travel anywhere. You could be having a Jacksonian seizure. When I have one I am paralyzed on that side but my mind is engaged. Please look up the definition. Another thought I had is that my daughter has complex partials and she swears she feels and is aware of what is going on but her depiction is inaccurate. She has a hard time believing this, in fact doesn't, because it's so real to her. During a tonic/clonic I am unconscious blessedly, but I can have what I call "snapshots", seconds probably of time when I accurately can see and hear, all the senses probably of what is going on in the room. Others I know of have this too. I've asked others with me if what I saw was accurate and they confirmed it was but this is not prolonged, seconds probably. 4x I have awakened in the night and been having a tonic/clonic. As I think back now I know I was not totally conscious but certainly aware. My mind felt engaged but my body was "stuck". I think for me I am inaccurate on passage of time in a seizure but these seem to last for several minutes. They're very frightening. I fall asleep it seems within a few minutes. I don't know if it's because the sz ended or I just do. I remember those in the morning and pray I never have another. Last someone stated standing at the edge of a canyon. I get that too. A feeling of doom or something bad is about to happen, teetering on a precipice. A paniced feeling. This is part of some seizures I was told by my epileptologist, certainly very uncomfortable for me, I can't shake it. Anxiety to that feeling often sets in then for me too. Also there is an aura called Preictal fear. It is like a panic atack in me. I started a thread on this many contributed to and you might want to look up that thread, read what others experience. I absolutely dread getting those and it is a sure thing, I'm going to sz if I get one of those. Thankfully they're short. Gretchen

Re: Re: Question- Do You Know What's Going On During Your Seizur

Submitted by Cami_5acfb1177299c on Thu, 2018-04-12 - 15:27

Gretchen. I have exactly how you have described. I've noticed when coming out of it. Recovering I call it. The moment i realize how unaware i actually was it knocks me back emotionally like a rude awaking...like wtf have i been doing . Embarrassment, shame, guilt, fear, and fear of everyting like omg, im going to loose my job, my license etc....omg. Then i get extrememly tired like exhausted.