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Is that "PERFECT SOMEONE" out of the question??!
Tue, 06/26/2007 - 11:59Is dating that "perfect someone" hard for you because you have Epilepsy and they don't. Have you ever been in these shoes? What have you done? Do you keep it a secret til they find out from the "Grapevine" or do you come out and tell them?
As for me I come right out and tell them. I wait for the right time but I do tell them. Sometimes the right time for me was when he came crossed my "MIAB(medical identification alert bracelet)" or if he asked me a question that is this type.... Is there any "secret" I need to know about you? Or a similar question. Up until last year (17 yrs old) It was the hardest subject for me to talk about. Now since doing a FFCLA project on Epilepsy Awareness I feel much better and can/will talk about it.
What are some other ways you deal with "hiding" or having an "Open discussion" about epilepsy with your date? How do you cope with taking you meds in front of them or do you wait til they leave? Finally what are some "Activities" you are limited from because of Epilepsy?
Don't get down on yourself because you have Epilepsy. Look at the things it kind of "Shelters" you from trying or doing. I have lived with it since I was a 19 month old baby. I'm now 18 and I tell myself everyday that "I'm SPECIAL in my own eyes and ways!" As you can see I don't let this limit me at all.
Thanks for answering my questions and taking time to look this over. Please email me if you have any personal questions at autumnrexcell_epilepticlife@yahoo.com it will be alot easier to answer questions there then here.
Take care and remember "Normal is just a setting on the washer machine...............and EPILEPTICS are any thing but normal."
Autumn
Comments
Re: Re: Re: Is that "PERFECT SOMEONE" out of the question??!
Submitted by autumn18 on Wed, 2007-07-04 - 13:46
GodivaGirl,
Thanks for the jump of confidence but I have a pretty high amount of that. You reminded me about my sophomore year in high school. I had the highes confidence level until I got a steady boyfriend. Then it shoot through the roof. He would back me up on anything and was the sweetest guy I knew. We dated for 2 months then that is when I met the PARENTS. The father was the nicest guy next to my bf. His mother was a little rough around the edges. Then he left on a mission and won't be back until January. I have sent him letters upon the father's request. The father told me that my bf was in a huge depression area. So I started writing him and at Christmas time last year I saw his parents. His younger brother wrestles just like he did and I saw him at a tournement because my HS puts on one that is like over 75 teams. I bumped into his parents and his father was excitied to see me and get to talk to me. His mother suprised me..... she told me I was the best thing that ever happened to him and that she was greatful I was writing him. I now have a different prespective of her. And I think she has a different one about me too. So really I think I have found someone already we will have to see what will happen in January when he gets home. I have been told he wants to see me in person and be with me so it looks like I'm going to the homecoming. The farewell I didn't go because I was not invited but it would have been that much harder on both of us (his mother broke us up two months after I met her).
Life is hard but I try and find the simple ways and shortcuts to get by in life.
I hope I helped you out some how!!
If you have any personal questions then e-mail me at autumnrexcell_epilepticlife@yahoo.com
Just Remember that "Normal is just a setting on the washing machine, and people that have Epilepsy are far from normal!!!!!" ;
Re: Is that "PERFECT SOMEONE" out of the question??!
Submitted by zyriana on Wed, 2007-07-04 - 23:37
Hi there!
Interesting question. I never had an issue with my own seizures. Meaning, I didn't think it set me much apart... so, I've never portrayed that.
When I dated I did the "I have had seizures, and still do... so you know, here's what it looks like, here's what you could do for me should it happen... I'll take a Coke and Burger."
I always thought if I thought it was a HUGE issue then I would make it into one.
Then again, I used to be WAY too closed up. ;) But I believe in the language we "talk" to ourselves. If you put it out there that people are going to have an issue, then don't they?
Love and Light,
Monica Ford
www.zyriana.com
Re: Re: Is that "PERFECT SOMEONE" out of the question??!
Submitted by GodivaGirl on Sat, 2007-06-30 - 13:42
I second that one Short Circut. Autumn18, basically that's what I was getting at with my original post in this. Relationships come together even better when you have confidence in yourself & your ability to handle anything life has to throw your way. As long as you are happy with you and your life, and you really don't care if a guy is in your life or not, that's what matters. Don't put so much focus on relationships at age 18. In all honesty most of my relationships until the one I'm in now totally sucked. The guys in them emotionally abused the hell out of me. Looking back it that picture, the reason why - because the 'pressure to be in a relationship' was tremendous & I put 'the couple lifestyle' ahead of me & sacrificed part of my identity. I gave up that idea when I was 22 & started to reclaimed my own identity. I'm now 33 & have been in a pretty solid relationship for 5+ years now. Nothing is ever 'picture perfect', but we care about each other, my seizures & other stuff doesn't make a difference. We've been through hell & back through a couple situations - no matter what happens, I know the 2 of us will take on the world & end up stronger for it. That's what you gotta do is know no matter what you have your own identity your confident in & that you have a solid partner who will back you up when they're needed. Epilepsy isn't the only obstacle in life. Really, you're only 18 - there are times when things are only gonna get tougher, not easier. Step back & have confidence in you - then have confidence in you & the relationship, don't rely on just "sparks". No matter what happens, good luck!