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Affection & Intimacy with Epilepsy

Mon, 11/02/2009 - 02:35
My boyfriend has epilepsy..He has grand mals..He has had epilepsy since he was 18..and now hes 31. From being on Depakote from the start he is finally off of it and weaned from KEPPRA to Lamictal now...For the past 2 yrs we have been together intimacy and affection has been a issue...This is all new for me so when it comes to only kissing or being intimate 1x a month or so it is affecting our relationship. He is now taking 900 mg of Lamictal per day (500 mg morning and 400 at nite). His seizures are controlled and hasnt had any since May 2009. At one point when he was prev on Lamictal before his last seizure affection wasnt an issue for 1 week but then it went back to his normal routine.. When it comes to affection, cuddling and holding hands is the extent of it..Its hard for him to even show his emotions or do nice things for me....He has his moments but it seems like his epilepsy has played a huge part of the problem...I cant handle it anymore and need to know if there are any suggestions from anyone who has experienced the same situation from Lamicatal or the epilepsy itself? I have been supportive but it is so hard for him to be affectionate and kiss me or be any more affectionate like a normal couple would be in a relationship.. When we are affectionate he has no problems whatsoever...but meanwhile he just is never in the mood..Even if i kiss him hes just not into anything... It seems like the only time he can be the way i want is when he has a few drinks in him which i know is not good as he could have a seizure...His neurologist prescribed him Lexapro to help get his mind off the BS in life to maybe help but all it has done his mellow him out and all..His testosterone is normal as he was tested for low testosterone and dont know what else can be done... Any advice or input would greatly help as we are trying to get past this issue and have a positive future....Advice on medications, or any other type of methods that can help with this problem.. Thanks..

Comments

Re: Affection & Intimacy with Epilepsy

Submitted by scorpio on Tue, 2010-01-05 - 16:12

I am not surprised your friend is having problems, aside from the epi.  900mg/d of Lamictal is a very large doseage to take for the condition.  Does he get any sleep, aside from any other side-effects (I have some problems with 200mg/d but they must be dwarfed by those your friend enjoys)?  Not cheap either.  Any chance of switching to another AED?  I sometimes believe that the side-effects of drugs can be worse than the condition treated, certainly as far as the person suffering from it is concerned.

I hope things get better.

Chris

I am not surprised your friend is having problems, aside from the epi.  900mg/d of Lamictal is a very large doseage to take for the condition.  Does he get any sleep, aside from any other side-effects (I have some problems with 200mg/d but they must be dwarfed by those your friend enjoys)?  Not cheap either.  Any chance of switching to another AED?  I sometimes believe that the side-effects of drugs can be worse than the condition treated, certainly as far as the person suffering from it is concerned.

I hope things get better.

Chris

Re: Affection & Intimacy with Epilepsy

Submitted by tonialpha on Tue, 2010-01-05 - 19:36

  I have taken Lamictal.  There are a lot of possibilities. I take high doses of one medication and take 2 other medications and my medications do sedate in one manner or another.  I find I walk for  a period of time - I am less sedated. Have him not take a shower! Just have some fun! Each person is different and have their limitations.   My husband takes different medications for his situation and we work together to deal with our intimacy. My friend would say "Life is a Festival!  It is a challenge. Talk to the Neurologist. The Neurologist may have suggestions.   We have known each other for 20 years .   He works in a stressful job and works long hours at different parts of the year.  We are both grateful to enjoy ourselves in communicating and being married for  18  years! 

 

  I have taken Lamictal.  There are a lot of possibilities. I take high doses of one medication and take 2 other medications and my medications do sedate in one manner or another.  I find I walk for  a period of time - I am less sedated. Have him not take a shower! Just have some fun! Each person is different and have their limitations.   My husband takes different medications for his situation and we work together to deal with our intimacy. My friend would say "Life is a Festival!  It is a challenge. Talk to the Neurologist. The Neurologist may have suggestions.   We have known each other for 20 years .   He works in a stressful job and works long hours at different parts of the year.  We are both grateful to enjoy ourselves in communicating and being married for  18  years! 

 

Re: Affection & Intimacy with Epilepsy

Submitted by Ranger on Fri, 2010-01-22 - 12:41

Hello mblack, I had a Right Temporal Lobectomy and am still on AED's.   Both of which have greatly effected my sex drive.... it went from ok when I was still seizing, before my surgery to absolutely nothing at all since my surgery..... I am still on meds, However if I miss a dose I do knotice that I get arroused. So I know that at least in part its the meds..... As far as being effectionate... I never have been either, however I am now trying to learn how to do that.    On verge of a divorce because of all of the years of her dealing with my E and lack of being affectionate.....   Trying to fix my life before it totally collapses.   Anti-depressants and counceling have begun to help.... they might be an option in your boyfriends case as well..   

Good luck...... and just know... It's not you, its the E and medicine that hes on...      Ranger.

Hello mblack, I had a Right Temporal Lobectomy and am still on AED's.   Both of which have greatly effected my sex drive.... it went from ok when I was still seizing, before my surgery to absolutely nothing at all since my surgery..... I am still on meds, However if I miss a dose I do knotice that I get arroused. So I know that at least in part its the meds..... As far as being effectionate... I never have been either, however I am now trying to learn how to do that.    On verge of a divorce because of all of the years of her dealing with my E and lack of being affectionate.....   Trying to fix my life before it totally collapses.   Anti-depressants and counceling have begun to help.... they might be an option in your boyfriends case as well..   

Good luck...... and just know... It's not you, its the E and medicine that hes on...      Ranger.

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