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Affection & Intimacy with Epilepsy

Mon, 11/02/2009 - 02:35

Topic: Family & Friends

My boyfriend has epilepsy..He has grand mals..He has had epilepsy since he was 18..and now hes 31. From being on Depakote from the start he is finally off of it and weaned from KEPPRA to Lamictal now...For the past 2 yrs we have been together intimacy and affection has been a issue...This is all new for me so when it comes to only kissing or being intimate 1x a month or so it is affecting our relationship. He is now taking 900 mg of Lamictal per day (500 mg morning and 400 at nite). His seizures are controlled and hasnt had any since May 2009. At one point when he was prev on Lamictal before his last seizure affection wasnt an issue for 1 week but then it went back to his normal routine.. When it comes to affection, cuddling and holding hands is the extent of it..Its hard for him to even show his emotions or do nice things for me....He has his moments but it seems like his epilepsy has played a huge part of the problem...I cant handle it anymore and need to know if there are any suggestions from anyone who has experienced the same situation from Lamicatal or the epilepsy itself? I have been supportive but it is so hard for him to be affectionate and kiss me or be any more affectionate like a normal couple would be in a relationship.. When we are affectionate he has no problems whatsoever...but meanwhile he just is never in the mood..Even if i kiss him hes just not into anything... It seems like the only time he can be the way i want is when he has a few drinks in him which i know is not good as he could have a seizure...His neurologist prescribed him Lexapro to help get his mind off the BS in life to maybe help but all it has done his mellow him out and all..His testosterone is normal as he was tested for low testosterone and dont know what else can be done... Any advice or input would greatly help as we are trying to get past this issue and have a positive future....Advice on medications, or any other type of methods that can help with this problem.. Thanks..

Comments

Re: Affection & Intimacy with Epilepsy

Submitted by tiredinthedarkness on Wed, 2010-09-08 - 15:16

I think it is the meds. my partner did not even realise due to memory problems that he was more sexed before certain new drugs and now we have to make a conscious effort to have 'together time' once a week; although this is hard for partners of epileptics who are not experiencin any lack of drive, we have to remember that together with our love occassionally is far better than any alternative and certainly better than not at all!! keep on talking and being caring & creative. also, remember he may completely be unaware of how he's hurting you - i explained things to my partner (night seizures, very volatile and active - pulling things off the wall and jumping out of windows) and he made everything into 'his problems' and was super cold (not like who i first dated) eventually he changed meds and voila - super affectionate sweetheart back and sex once a week (still by date though, lol). good luck and use this forum to provide support - epilepsy is affecting you as well but it could work out great despite his illness x x x

Re: Affection & Intimacy with Epilepsy

Submitted by 3Hours2Live on Tue, 2010-01-05 - 06:10

Hi mblack618, Most epilepsies, especially temporal lobe epilepsy (TLE), almost always greatly reduces "sex drive." The next problem is that Anti-Epileptic Drugs (AEDs) also reduce the sex drive. The only times AEDs help here is when the AEDs reduce the effects of epilepsy more than they reduce the sex drive. There are a moderate frequency of epilepsy patients that this isn't a sizable problem, and there are very infrequent occasions where epilepsy leads to excessive sex drive, more often with females than males. Then, the mechanics are a problem also. It has often been noted that "excitement" to/and/with orgasm is a form of a seizure, the very thing AEDs are designed to prevent. Again, there are many moderate to fairly rare exceptions (I'm one exception, near zero sex drive, no problems with impotence, and frequent priapitic seizures that got me raped in High School while being overly fascinating to many older males). In most voluntary relationships, instead of sex drive, I just try for the artistic satisfaction more from a work of literature, from "A Midsummer Night's Dream" to "Thousand and One Nights," "The Decameron," etc., or whichever characters my partner and I feel like playing with each other at any one time. And, natural biological olfactory clues seem to be more pivotal with TLE. I hope this helps. Tadzio

Re: Affection & Intimacy with Epilepsy

Submitted by Shakey Mom on Tue, 2010-01-05 - 11:15

Good morning.

I am a 33 year old woman and I am soo in love with my husband, but when it comes to intimacy I'm just not interested at all. I would rather wash dishes than be intimate.

I take a high dosage of two AEDs 2x day and I have no doubt this is the reason for the low sex drive.

Everyone is built different, but unfortunately I do not see my situation changing anytime soon.

Best of luck to the both of you!!

Good morning.

I am a 33 year old woman and I am soo in love with my husband, but when it comes to intimacy I'm just not interested at all. I would rather wash dishes than be intimate.

I take a high dosage of two AEDs 2x day and I have no doubt this is the reason for the low sex drive.

Everyone is built different, but unfortunately I do not see my situation changing anytime soon.

Best of luck to the both of you!!

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