Looking for a little support

I ALSO HAVE NOCTURNAL SEIZURE AND I BEEN HAVING THEM FOR ABOUT 3 YRS NOW. I WAS JUST PUT ON MEDICINE FOR IT THIS YEAR. I'M TAKING TRILEPTAL 300MG TWICE A DAY AND SO FAR NO SIDE AFFECT FROM IT SINCE I BEEN TAKING I HAD TWO SEIZURES. I'M STILL A LITTLE DENAIL OR SHOCK AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE A SEIZURE DISORDER AT THE AGE OF 33. I'M SO SCARE AND MY WIFE AND KIDS ARE NOT STRESSFUL ABOUT IT YET I'M THE ONLY THATS IS AFRAID THAT I WOULD HAVE A MORE SERIOUS SEIZURE.

I've had seizures since I was a kid, and I totally understand how it can make you feel like a weirdo or a freak or something. I hated it - I had to take medicine, I had to go to the hospital regularly for check ups so that they could figure out what medicine/dosage would work for me, and there are some things that you just can't (or shouldn't) do. Like it or not, it does affect your life - even if only a little. But my mom said something to me that made me feel *so* much better - she said that everyone has *something* and aren't I lucky that we know what mine is and can take of it. And you know what, I really do feel lucky - and in the grand scheme of things, it sucks but it isn't too terrible. Not remembering times in your life (no matter how short those times may be) can be really scary - and not being able to control yourself during those times can feel very embarassing. Almost all of my seizures have just happened in front of family - except for one time I had one in a public park (but my sister was also with me) and one time I had one in a hotel in front of my co-workers (yikes!). I actually think it is better if you just have it in front of your family - they love you and care about you. It is true that they are probably also the people that will be the most worried about you, but that is why it is so important to educate yourself and them about it. Talk to your kids and let them ask questions; if your spouse wants to join in on your doctor's appointment, let him; read books or literature about epilepsy; and keep coming to these types of sites. I used to be really embarrassed about my epilepsy. I didn't want to tell anyone, and people told me not to tell anyone because people would think I was weird. Slowly, I told my close friends - and my mom told their parents if she felt like they should know (maybe I was going on a sleep over or something...). When I got out of college and started working, I made sure that one person in my office knew about my epilepsy and knew what to do in case I had a seizure. What I have found is that people are better than you think. Epilepsy isn't considered the horrible or strange thing that it has been in the past. People are more educated and are more willing to ask questions (my advice: let them ask, and answer what you feel comfortable answering - knowledge can lead to understanding, which leads to acceptance). I no longer hide my epilepsy - I don't proactively advertise it, but I don't "talk around" it or hide it. In my experience, if you don't treat it as if it is strange, then people are less likely to think it is strange. There are a lot of people who have seizures (I think that I have read that 1 in 20 people in America have epilepsy, but don't quote me on that, I could be way off) - you aren't the only one, although it may feel like it at times. Yeah, taking medicine can be a pain, but when you think about it it isn't too bad, especially if you can sync it up with meals or waking up/going to bed. I take my medicine right when I wake up and then again right before I go to bed. After a while, it becomes second nature. Hang in there. You aren't strange, you just have a disorder. As I understand it, it is nothing more than a chemical imbalance - just a few things in your system need to be tweaked. Nobody's body is perfect - at least you can do something about what is a little different in yours.