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Keppra and depression

This topic may already be addressed on this site. If it is, I apologize.  I'm new to, and have a quick question regarding keppra and antidepressants.

I'm a 23 year old female and have been medicated for epilepsy for about 5 years.  I've been taking keppra for about 2 1/2 years and it has worked wonders for me.  I suffered from nocturnal grand mal seizures and have only had 2 since I began taking keppra.  Since taking keppra I have felt emotionally stunted. Life is bland, and I have no motivation to do or accomplish much of anything.  The longer I'm on the drug, the more I realize that I'm truly missing out on being my "old" self.  I don't want to stop taking keppra because it really has controlled my seizures.  I talked to my neuro about the depression and she offered to refer me to someone for depression/medication/etc. I'm wondering if anyone who takes keppra is also on an antidepressant?  Which one? Has it helped? Etc.  Thanks so much. 




Sorry to hear about the depression along with the "E". My 10 year old son also suffered from nocturnal seizures and was put on Keppra in March of 2007. He had side effects that would cause him to fly off the handle and throw stuff at his sisters and just be an unhappy little boy. We started him on a vitamin B vitamin called B-100 that we get at Trader Joes. It has done wonders!! If you do not have a Trader Joes near you try and an find any whole foods store or someplace that sells NATURAL vitamins since the junk you buy at places like Wal Mart is just that, junk!

Please email me if you have any questions.


I can so relate to what everybody has said about Keppra. It mostly makes me drowsy though. I have noticed the anger and I do take Lexapro to control the depression.

What does the B vitamin do? Does it replace something that the Keppra takes away? I took Depakote for about ten years and the doctors told me to take folic acid. Will a vitamin that supplies everything be just as good? I will have to ask my doctor about that. I know I brought it up once and then he started asking me if I had planned on getting pregnant? I did not really get to ask him all of my questions. I will have to write it down so I do not forget next time. Are all the vitamins at Wal Mart just junk?

Good Luck to everybody!

There are so many chemicals added to the non natural foods that it is hard to tell how ones body or mind will react to them. It is best to use all natural foods, drinks and vitamins as much as possible. We know for a fact that my son 's tics get much worse when he consumes anything with artificial colors. Red dye 40 is the worst it seems. We have tried to cut out as much high fructose corn syrup, artificial colors, flavors and sweeteners like aspartame. It is hard since almost all our foods contain these things since it is cheaper to use fake instead of real in the good ole USA. Mexico uses a lot of natural things in there foods and drinks. Go and figure.

Good luck but we do know the vitamin B helps my son.


I have noticed that I've felt more anxious and agitated since i've been on it. I've been on it for 6 months though. I was perscribed ativan, 1mg as needed. Maybe that will help?

Hi everyone!

I was looking over this site for a completely different answer and came upon this thread and decided to sign up and share my experience with Keppra. I do not have E but I had suffered a brain abscess back in 2008 when i was 24 and keppra was given to me as a standard procedure while my brain recovered for 6-8 months. I was moody and down so we all thought it was because of the situation but once i was weaned off i was coming back to my old self. 2 month of being clear of the keppra, i suffered a full blown seizure. They put me back on it and of course I was back to being depresed and irritable and getting upset easily. I hated it I didnt want to do anything I missed my friends but at the same time I didnt want to do anything Id go to the neurologist and she'd ask me a question about a touchy subject and I'd burst into tears. I just sstarted being on the generic form of the keppra to save money of course everyone's happy right? well my dr says she found out her other patients r going 'over the deep end" so she wanted me off i didnt like being on the keppa anyways i tried lamitrol but i still had foca/simple seizures like once a week in my left hand or on my face it made me crazy we increased the dose so much it gave me headaches.. decided to do a 3 day test took away my medicine told me to stay up for 12 hours twice just at the end of the 2nd end of 12th hour a seizure hit so they decided to prescribe me topamax.. so far so good.. knock on wood. most of all i'm slowly getting my life back!!

for those who are on keppra and drepressed YES IT IS NORMAL AND IT IS BECAUSE OF THE KEPPRA.. please be proactive in your healthcare and ask questions and ask  if there r other things you can take and whatnot for your seizures.. and get your life back!! :)


hi everyone
i am 19 years old and have JME as well. i have been on keppra for two years and seriously depressed for about the last sixth months in which now i am on prozac. i previously was on lamictal and depakote before keppra and am in the process of switching to topomax because the depression with keppra is just too bad. i was wondering if anyone had any problems with topomax?

Hi everyone, I too have suffered severe depression and lack of motivation due to Keppra!  I couldn't agree more about the benefit of all natural foods and supplements!  through my struggles my friend introduced me to the all natural products and supplements of It Works! Global and they are life changing!  I am such a believer in the products that I decided to become a distributor and help others overcome lifes obstacles naturally too!  If you are interested in finding out more and what It Works! Has to offer please visit my website at 

The supplements I reccommond for these issues are Confianza for depression/tension/stress. Greens and It's  Vital for lack of energy/motivation. These supplements could change your life too!

david59   hi jenny.... this one is wide open you understand. i bet almost everyone on an AED is also on at least one anti depressant,or has been on one,or more other anti, or pro,...type of pill. i can understand your words as if i had written them myself...but can not begin to appreciate truly what they mean to you. i hope you get many responses to this issue... is so hard to talk about...because it is so individual. seems there are thousands of drug combinations out there...a bit scary. i know you will find it sometime,ok?... david. best for you!


   I just got diagnosed with epilepsy in December.  I had a seizure brought on by the trigger of the flu.  Elevated temperature.  My EEG indicates that I also seize during strobe light exposure.  I am 45 and never thought I have ever had a seizure before.  I must have over the years.  It was such shocking news!!  I am on the generic form of KEPPRA and I seem to have be having more headaches and also the crabbiness that some of you have experienced.  I have always be happy go lucky and it took a lot to make me angry.  Now I'm not so much that way.  Is it the KEPPRA???? My neurologist told me there were no side effects from KEPPRa.  Thanks for listening.  This is my first day on this site.  I'm glad I found a site to talk to others like me.


I think for your doctor to tell you that Keppra wouldn't cause side effects is incorrect.  AED's come with a host of side effects, they just differ for each individual.  For some people, the side effects of keppra are too much to tolerate, while for others, they consider that the benefits of the drug outweigh the side effects.  From what I've gleaned from the site, forms of depression, tiredness, mood swings, etc are common for a lot of people on keppra.  If you've been on the keppra for more than a month or so and the side effects are bothering you, I'd talk to your doctor.  If it hasn't been that long, I'd give it a little while.  Sometimes it takes a while for your body to adjust to a new drug.  Best of luck and God Bless!


david59    what i saw in myself after the first coupla months on keppra were istances of ...irritability ...that was above my normal self. there. thats a good way to put it.i began to feel like i couldnt communicate clearly with others,then a bit of frustration and paranoia set in...was it my fault or theirs...memory was unsteady,i guess.well, then i just started expecting this behavior...i too read about the potential side effectsof keppra.does the irritability and eventually the rage,come from keppra ,or just as a result of the overlapping emotional aspects of our lives. this is not just like ...having a bad goes on to affect every part of my existance it seems. is it the keppra? my neuro also says least youre not having szs...the side effects you can live with...   now ,after two and half years on keppra...i really dont know if i even have many logical thoughts anymore. ...but, i do still feel some compassion for those who seem to suffer for no so many here,who have taken time to read this. library lady...( seriously)...i believe these people here,on this site, will tell you all ,if not more, than you want to know. best wishes...keep us up.   david

Hi my first sz was @ 46 and I was pretty shocked since there is no family history, e does not have to run in the family anyone can get a sz.  When I look back on my life I always felt a bit fuzzy and not grounded like floating around, detached, not at the party, dizzy...I have been on Keppra since my last and 3rd sz in 2006 and diagnosed with E (after 2 more breakthru sz on Lamitical)  and have been sz free since. I do not care what the Keppra side effects are being irritable or tired or nasty, headaches, hungry, not hungry, no sex drive,  motivation, no motivation, feeling blah, suicidal thoughts w/out a plan in place,  miserable, depressed, (everyone is depressed) no emotion , too emotional, numb not numb,  as long as I am sz free Keppra is a the drug of choice. Sz control is first priorty, if you don't have sz control what do you have??  no quality of life   bottom line, so I will take any side  EXCEPT ANOTHER SZ!!!!!! Everybody is nasty with the state our country is in, so what's the difference.  Drivers are aggressive, people are crazy, people take your parking spot at a mall that you are sitting and waiting for, for 20 minutes as the person in the car takes there sweet old time....knowing your waiting for their spot...everyone is on edge, you try on an outfit in a dept store leave your bag in the dressing room and another customer takes your wallet, employers are nasty, bosses treat you like s--t, respect has gone out the window. People don't get divorced they kill each other I stay on a sure drug and its KEPPRA and my NYC Neurologist writes the books that other Dr.'s read. So my advice is if your sz free stay on KEPPRA..........if it works why change it...........I work, have no restrictions I drive........I try to lead a normal life and stay positive at all times....  feel free to write me or chat anytime.... I am on Zoloft 100mg  and Lamitical 50mg have been recently D/C'd.

I have been on Keppra for about a month. I have also noticed the lack of energy and "laziness" that everybody seems to point out. All medications seem to have those side effects. They seem to transform you into this zombie like person. I take a small amount of Lexapro to control the depression-10mg to be exact and only once a day. It really seems to help and it has lead me to believe that it has helped. The small amount really does make all the difference for me. All medications will react to everybody differently and have different side effects for everybody. I try not to think about all the side effects so I can try to psych myself out. Keep a seizure diary so you can write down how you feel and show that to your neuro. It really helped me out. I keep it on my computer and update it at the end of each day. Then, I can print it up when I have a doctor's appt. I know that I find it hard to remember what day I had a seizure and how I felt each day. It really comes in handy. Good luck and I hope you find a solution!


i am a 28 year old female and i have been on keppra for almost 2 months and im not my old self yes the meds have stopped my tremors but i have became very depressed and i have no motivation to do anything i contacted my doctor and he is going t o put me on a new med i hope u have the best of luck with ur meds i will let u know the new med and how it works but i refuse to take keppra anymore i have been dealing with seizures since i waas 12 years old.

i am a 28 year old female and i have been on keppra for almost 2 months and im not my old self yes the meds have stopped my tremors but i have became very depressed and i have no motivation to do anything i contacted my doctor and he is going t o put me on a new med i hope u have the best of luck with ur meds i will let u know the new med and how it works but i refuse to take keppra anymore i have been dealing with seizures since i waas 12 years old.


I was taking Cabatrol and Lamictal with no results for my partial complex siezures.  A new Dr. tapered me off Lamictal and replaced it with Keppra.  It was OK at first but things got BAD in a hurry.  It caused a lot of fatigue and apathy then caused horrible anxiety.  I switched back to Lamictal.  I will never, ever, try Keppra again.



I started on Keppra xr in late april 2009 - since that day, i have had difficulty rising out of bed and I have not returned to the gym.  By coincidence I was referred to a new family doctor who has a holistic perspective on western and eastern medicine.  He had me take a baseline of bloodwork - he was very thorough.  The end result was that I had been on Keppra for about 5 weeks and he discovered I had a low level or vitamin d deficiency. 

When I started on keppra, I was taking a powerful folic acid b6 b12 combo and aloe vera and flaxseed oil.  I also take a basic multi vitamin - apparently, living in southern california and all of the above does not offer enough in my diet.  Recently, I started on a vitamin d3 supplement to see how that goes.  Energy seems to be a bit better but I am waiting another month to draw for vitamin d again. (this was my doctor's recommendation.) I return to my nuero in a few weeks and I will share with him.  Not sure that will matter - I do miss feeling myself. 

Has anyone else tested for vitamin d on keppra?   





HI, I started on Kepra about 12 months ago and I take a massive dose (3000mg) to try to control generalised absence seizures, which it doesn't. And since taking it I have felt awful in myself, becoming a monster to live with, irritable at the best of times and I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. The depression was awful. I have since been seeing a psycholgist for fortnightly sessions as I have been told by my doc that Keppra does not react well to anti-depressants, and I have been told that taking anti-depressants for long periods can worsen the problem anyway and wasn't keen to try it. So things have gotten better, I recently got married and life is looking up. I am going off the Keppra, and I believe what you are all saying!

Hoping that this might help either a depression or epilepsy/seizure sufferer I offer the following. I had been on dilantin since I received a head injury from an RPG in Vietnam in 1972.  About a year ago, I was switched from dilantin to Tegretol, with less than perfect success. It is important to note that I have been followed for serious depression as well as PTSD for some ten years, even though I was not on an antidepressant at the time of the following event. I saw a new neurologist at the Albuquerque VA hospital who started me on Keppra. In less than 24 hours following the administration of keppra, I was profoundly, almost hysterically suicidal, and almost didn't make it to the hospital in time to prevent a fatal outcome.  Right now I am still on tegretol at a higher dose until my next neurology visit. I would simply like to warn anyone in treatment for depression and/or severe PTSD to alert their physician/ neurologist  of this possibility from Keppra treatment. From reading the comments here, it is clear at least empirically that there is some kind of connection between Keppra and depression. Good luck to everyone and feel free to email me with further questions at

Before Keppra came into my life, I had non-stop seizures and no depression.  After Keppra came into my life, Keppra controls my seizures pretty darn good (not 100% but much, much better than any other drug).  But it has caused me debilitating depression.  Neuro thinks the depression is from the seizures; psychologist thinks the depression is from the Keppra.  I dunno what to do.  The depression has gotten so bad at times, I've thought about stopping the Keppra, on purpose, so I'd go into status epilepticus and, hopefully, die from it.  Then, I won't have to deal with any of this anymore.  Since I see the neuro tomorrow a.m., we will see if there is any such thing as seizure control without the side effect of depression.  If not, that's it.  I will be returning to living with non-stop seizures.  At least I was happy then.

  hi sicily....very sad to hear what you are goin thru. i feel like i can understand the frustration with keppra. i felt the same way for a while. i have tried antidepressants to counter the keppra....impossible to stop a drug by adding another drug...really it is just a stupid concept. neuros are just like regular people...they think they are just doin their job, not one of them seem to understand the responsibility of the medications they give to people,. my guy is trying to convince me that my depression is the CAUSE for my szs...not a side effect of keppra. just shows me that the doctors dont know very much about epilepsy,and how it effects your entire life.      i dont know who i am anymore...lost my confidence with others,irritable all the time...for 3 years now.not very long,compared to many others...but this is not a contest ,is it? when you feel bad, you just feel bad...and need to talk. i hope you have someone.i hope you find some peace.let me know how it goes. best wishes..... david


thanks David. Tried to lower Keppra dose by 500 mg at night (I was taking 1500 mg XR in the am and 1500 mg  XR in the pm) while adding Lamictal. During the first few days, I lost a degree of awareness, and got into a fender bender--the first fender bender since being put on Keppra.  Turned red as a fire truck from the Lamictal.  Stopped the Lamictal and went back to original 1500 mg in the am and 1500 mg in the pm of the Keppra XR.  Got my level of awareness back, but also depression and angry outbursts from the Keppra.  Gonna call the neuro again.  I want to be weaned from Keppra but I don't want seizures and don't want other AEDs.


I feel total hopelessness and despair, and fear of seizures and fear of all AEDs.





david59   hey sicily.hate to hear what you are feeling.i am contemplating switching off keppra to lamictal.maybe not...i feel at times like just no point in talking about this with anyone. goin to shrink this morn...follow up visit. im not takin any anti depressants right now, but thinkin about it again...dam keppra. i know i cant blame it for all issues...but everyone here who has had problems with it cant be all wrong...can they? i really hope,or pray, that you start to feel better. you are welcome to email if ya wanna go on about it. take care...were thinkin of you.   david

david59   hi sicily, hope you are still on the line... i finally decided. i am dropping keppra, 250mg a week for next 2 weeks, while ive been on 1000mg of depakote for two weeks now. hope i can get some answers, feel better about the world.i am having headaches now, ...must just be from switching meds. i hope you have made progress...feel better....david 59

I think that if the medicine make trouble in our brain to think and to be active in life, and don´t even control the seizures, and also make depression, and many more problems, then it is not  good to be on medicine.   The brain must be able to create new cells, and if we do not use it (the brain) we loose it.  The doctors know it now, but for a long time they thought, that the brain made no new cells, if people had a seizure. 

I  don't know what to do.   Keppra and  seizures and depression define my life.  Told the neuro about the depression, suicidal thoughts on Keppra.  I can't go on like  this anymore.  I'm sleeping 14 hours at a time or have insomnia.  I had  a terribly embarrassing seizure in front of my students Friday.  Held my feelings in until  getting into the car to head home.  Called the neuro's cell, telling her what happened.  She said I had a seizure, and should not drive, to pull the car over and  have someone else  take me home.  Must I give up what little work I do have (teaching 2 college classes one day per week)?  I want to die so I think I should go to the ER.  This is insane.  I can't go on like this anymore.  And I will not let them simply tell me, "go see a counselor,  good-bye" again.  Counselors can't stop drug-induced depression, only stopping the drug can and I'd prefer to do so in a controlled, medical environment.  We will see. Going to the ER now.


I've been on different anti-seizure meds for 32 years following a brain tumor at the age of 10. Minor seizures changed to major in '03 ending in a severe car wreck. Then came 2+ years of testing followed by surgery. Then a couple of disasters, bone infection, skin graft, plastic surgery repairs, 6 years of hell. Most of the last 6 years, Ive been on Tegr & Keppra. I visited a shrink for quite a while following the surgeries, and was prescribed Clonazepam for anxiety. If there was a difference, it was too minor to notice. A psychologist suggested I see about stopping the prescr after being on it for over a year and still feeling lousy. I tapered off it.  6 months later I had another grand mal, another wreck. Driving is over for an unknown length of time. Depression is at its highest than ever.

I'm finding it extremely difficult to keep asking for 'transportation favors' from everyone I know (13 months now) and although I'm against antidepressants, am thinking seriously about going back........

If only there was a way to base all anti-seizure meds (and anti-depr's) by one person's results. What I do know is that depression has taken away most will to live and the worst part is that [physically] I'm in excellent shape, scars from 7 brain surgeries aren't even visible....psychologically.....I'm a wreck. I wish I didn't hear the term "side effects".      

 Hang in there & good luck with your "journey". :)


I'm only 17 years old and i feel the same way you do. I don't know how to handle this anymore, its so hard to cope.

I'm only 17 years old and i feel the same way you do. I don't know how to handle this anymore, its so hard to cope.

I'm only 17 years old and i feel the same way you do. I don't know how to handle this anymore, its so hard to cope.

I'm in the same boat. I'm taking Keppra XR and have noticed lack of motivation and mood swings. I've always been a patient person, but lately have been annoyed so easily by little things. Plus, I get depressed over little and big things. Never know if the depression is from the Keppra or Epilepsy itself...

Best of luck to everyone experiencing these same symptoms.

I am writing about my 91 year old mom. She had seizures, been on all the different meds for it, her dr says Keppra is the only thing that she can take. For the past year, she has been on Keppra and no seizures, but also no joy for life as before, no motivation to do anything or go any where. Dr is against antidepressants. Mom is also very anxious and nervous. I do not live close to her but visit often. I want to do whatever I can to help her. I do not know what that is. I read thru all the emails and I am so sorry for those of you experiencing these same symptoms. You have at least given me knowledge that it is the Keppra that is helping her but also making her life not worth living. Any suggestions are appreciated.

Hi. My name is Anna and I am a 28 yearold female that was diagnosed with E right after I turned 24 in August 2005. I am currently on Keppra which has stopped my hormonal Petit mal seizures before I had sugery to remove the part of my brain where my seizures were comming from. Like you I am also taking an ati depressant as well. I am taking 60mg of Cymbalta whichhas also helped me sleep. When i  started having my seizures I became veryupset because my first one was an extremely violent grand mal 3 semesters before i recived my Bacholer's degree. I started taking the Cymbalta because I was really upset about my seizures and I was constantly worried about jobs and how i had to get this done and this done, and so on, since I am not able to drive just yet.  Like you i did talk to my nero. about that and he told me that it is very common with those who have E. esp. those like us who have just recently got diagnosed with no known cause. he referred me to a psychiatrist to talk to about my depression who prescribed my Cymbalta. It has helped me out a lot to the point where I feel like I do need to be weaned off. I am going to have my regular doctor try do reduce my Cymbalta. If I were you I would take it easy and have your docs. help you out as much as you can. If you feel the need to you can have a professional to help you with your deression. I just wanted to let you know not to let it upset you because this type of thing is common and there is plenty of us on this webiste that will help you out if needed. In fact, I have been on here for a year now and it has helped me out a lot. You should check out Epi-chat on here and we will all try to help you out. Hope things get better for you soon. God bless.


I am also a 29 year old female who was diagnosed with JME (Juvenile Myocholonic Epilepsy) and i too found myself battling depression and anxiety as a side effect of Keppra.  My doctor originally had me on Lexapro at 20 MG a day and it worked for awhile but then stopped working.  I have recently switched over to Zoloft.  I am not suicidal, but definitely do not feel like myself and i would really like to be.  Hopefully now with Keppra being a generic will change the way we can treat ourselves.

I am a 27 year old female also diagnosed with JME since age 16. I took Depakote for 10 years, after I got married my doctor suggested we look at other med options since Depakote isn't recommended during pregnancy. (I'm not planning on getting pregnant anytime soon...) I changed to Keppra a year ago. Since then also have been struggling with depression. I lost 10 pounds pretty quickly due to having zero appetite, didn't have energy to see friends/family, etc. I've tried several different anti depressants without a lot of luck. Right now I take Wellbutrin; its okay, but I'm not crazy about taking more meds than needed either. I'm somewhat afraid of stopping Wellbutrin though because I had many thoughts/actions that scared me and is not my "normal self". I wondered if anyone experienced anything similar too, and it sounds like from reading this that I'm not alone. I just wish I could find a medication that's somewhat safe, without a ton of side effects!! It would be nice to feel like myself again.

Hi im 21 and started with epilepsy when i was 13. i started taking Keppra when i was 16 and not long after started on antidepressants. Lots went off around that time and i started with depression, so i don't know if it's linked to me starting the Keppra or what happened. Over the years its controlled my epilepsy really well. but my quality of life has gone down n down. ive never managed to hold onto a job or stay on a course, and my confidence has vanished, losing me most of my friends. i feel i have no motivation to do anything, not even the littlest things and can get really low. the epilepsy doctor said this COULD be due to keppra and it was upto me if i wanted to come off it and see if i improved. but i know that would risk my fits starting again. i wondered if anyone else thought it sounded like the keppra could be the problem? n if anyone had any advise for me :) i also hope this information is helpful to anyone else whos felt this way. antidepressants don't seem to have had much of an effect helping me and i wonder if this is due to keppra too?

I am 30 years old and currently take Keppra.  I've been on it for almost 3 years now.  I have experienced much success with controlling my seizures on the dose I take.  However, just recently (within the last 6 months) I have started to feel "different", like I'm not myself.  I'm less motivated, more tired, easliy irritated, and lack the sunny disposition I once had.  I thought at first it was just stress at work, but I can't seem to find myself.  I've talked to both my physician and neurologist, and neither of them think it's depression or that it's from Keppra.  I've also talked about it with friends and they think it could be mild depression.  I can't say that I think about suicide, but I do have negative thoughts.  I'm just a negative person now and not happy like I used to be.  I'm thinking about taking St. John's Wort or continuing (and being more consistent) with taking 5-HTP.  Both of these all natural products supposedly have an ingredient that promotes a positive mood.  We'll see how that goes.

I'm new to and look forward to reading more and learning more about the disease that has held me captive for over 22 years.  Good luck and God Bless all.

Hello! I don't know much about the Keppra (1500mg/day) side of things as I have just started taking it a couple of months ago.

It has made me agressive on & off and very angry for no reason. Seems to fluctuate though. I am hoping that this will get better with time! I believe it is different with everybody.

I am also on Tegretol (Carbamezapine 800mg/day), and Valproate (1000mg/day)and slowly coming off the Valproate after almost 10 years cause of weight issues.

I have been told to stay away from some natural therapies, especially St John's Wort because it can bring on seizures/mess with your meds. Peppermint & Lavendar are another two to be careful of.

So please be careful before you take anything like that and check with the pharmacist/naturopath as to how it will affect your meds.

All the best & I hope you find the happy you again.

I'm 17 years old, i'm having a pretty rough time. I have JME, my seizures are caused my tiredness and stress. I was diagnosed around 3 years ago now. Over the last year i've had some difficulties with how i've been feeling, it got so bad that i had been taken into hospital. I'm now on 20 mg fluoxetine, i've dropped out of sixth form and nothing is getting any better. It was starting to progress but i'm struggling to carry on, i have no motivation to do anything, i just can't do it. I have tried and tried and i feel sick, I just know i'm not alright.
I don't understand what is going on, i haven't had a seizure in over a year now but i am depressed. I have had counselling, seen psychiatrists, been to various consultants and doctors and i still continue to feel the way i do. I hadn't cut myself in over 2 months and i've started doing it again, i feel psychotic when i feel the way i do. My boyfriend tries to have a laugh with me and it makes me angry so i run to the bathroom, then i will come back in and laugh even though there isn't anything to laugh at. I get these terrible feelings when i'm having a bad day, and it feels as though i'm hurt as in heartbroken and it makes me so upset and i feel so lost. I've thought so many times about killing myself.
I just don't understand this, the doctors and consultants say it isn't the medication but what else could it be? i was fine before i was on this, the epilepsy was horrid but i never ever once thought about cutting myself. I feel so angry at myself, i feel disgusted looking at myself. I feel as though i'm not good enough and that there is nothing left for me. I just feel physically sick, i don't want to feel like this anymore. I'm scared of telling my mum, she gets so worried about me and i don't want her to panic, she's already panicked enough as it is and it isn't fair on her. I just don't know what i'm meant to do, i have issues with seeing people now, for example seeing friends, i don't see anyone anymore, i can't handle it. I'm actually scared of what i could do to myself.

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