Community Forum

How to cope with family that don't understand?

Hi everyone,


once again I come to you for words of wisdom. As some of you know my 16 year old has epilepsy, diagnosed a year ago, doing fine is meds, extended remission. Now, before his epilepsy diagnosis he did well in school, no worries. After his epilepsy diagnosis and meds, he seems nto loose  focus sometimes, time management is a challenge, doing homework takes forever now. His grades are fine as and bs, but that is with a lot of my intervention, keeping him from getting distracted, talking to teachers at times to get extensions, me reminding him to do things and help him with projects just to keep up. 

my husband thinks that he is just lazy, unmotivated etc. and that I am "bailing him" out is not helping him. I see his point, but in the other hand, what is the alternative? He says to let him fail, but I can't do that. I try to explain that it's the epilepsy and the medication and he says that I am making excuses,that he is perfectly fine, that I am babying him etc. now he is here having a conversation with my inlaws about how "I should just stop keeping him from being distracted" and let him fail so he learns a lesson. My son is not lazy, he works harder than anyone else, nothing has come easy for him, walking, talking, making friends since he was born. He is doing great now and we can't complaint, but wth? My inlaws don't know my son is epileptic. My husband has never seen him seize and has never been to any of the appointments or tests due to work, I guess thinking is "all fine" is his way for coping but I will be damned if people can come to my house and judge me!


i am so upset. I have to hear how my mother in law talks about her precious neurotical children and how easy school was for them etc. etc. Shut the hell up! 


Anyway, sorry for the rant. How do you cope with family members than don't understand. I have dedicated my entire life to help my son be a productive citizen and throught this journey. I don't want my son to have ieps or 504 plans because he doesn't need them. He is bright and smart and dedicated. I feel betrayed and slapped in the face. I want to scream at the top of my lungs that it is because he is epileptic and takes antiileptic drugs, but I have enough with a mother in law that makes a fuss over kids that have mental or behavioral disabilities, she can't handle the truth. I know that she will withdraw her affections because she is scared of everything that she doesn't know. 


If you are still reading, your thoughts are appreciated. Thank you

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