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How to cope with family that don't understand?
Wed, 06/04/2014 - 22:17Hi everyone,
once again I come to you for words of wisdom. As some of you know my 16 year old has epilepsy, diagnosed a year ago, doing fine is meds, extended remission. Now, before his epilepsy diagnosis he did well in school, no worries. After his epilepsy diagnosis and meds, he seems nto loose focus sometimes, time management is a challenge, doing homework takes forever now. His grades are fine as and bs, but that is with a lot of my intervention, keeping him from getting distracted, talking to teachers at times to get extensions, me reminding him to do things and help him with projects just to keep up.
my husband thinks that he is just lazy, unmotivated etc. and that I am "bailing him" out is not helping him. I see his point, but in the other hand, what is the alternative? He says to let him fail, but I can't do that. I try to explain that it's the epilepsy and the medication and he says that I am making excuses,that he is perfectly fine, that I am babying him etc. now he is here having a conversation with my inlaws about how "I should just stop keeping him from being distracted" and let him fail so he learns a lesson. My son is not lazy, he works harder than anyone else, nothing has come easy for him, walking, talking, making friends since he was born. He is doing great now and we can't complaint, but wth? My inlaws don't know my son is epileptic. My husband has never seen him seize and has never been to any of the appointments or tests due to work, I guess thinking is "all fine" is his way for coping but I will be damned if people can come to my house and judge me!
i am so upset. I have to hear how my mother in law talks about her precious neurotical children and how easy school was for them etc. etc. Shut the hell up!
Anyway, sorry for the rant. How do you cope with family members than don't understand. I have dedicated my entire life to help my son be a productive citizen and throught this journey. I don't want my son to have ieps or 504 plans because he doesn't need them. He is bright and smart and dedicated. I feel betrayed and slapped in the face. I want to scream at the top of my lungs that it is because he is epileptic and takes antiileptic drugs, but I have enough with a mother in law that makes a fuss over kids that have mental or behavioral disabilities, she can't handle the truth. I know that she will withdraw her affections because she is scared of everything that she doesn't know.
If you are still reading, your thoughts are appreciated. Thank you
Well back then tere was o
Submitted by just_joe on Thu, 2014-06-05 - 20:58
Well back then tere was o imternet so they did talk. I was a very slow reader and that was becasue of the neds. However after I read I could almost write the information word for word. I think that is why my essay was being used for years at 3 different meeting where the entire class was there. Well after the meeting I had a few problems Pete listened to Mom and Mom listened to him. I heard them both and used some information from them both. Pete had his own way of finding out things and yes he stopped asking me if I took my meds. I walked in after deliering the papers and saw him counting them a few times but I said nothing. It ticked me off at first but while changing clothes I realized he was making sure I took them without asking me. Mom probably got told by him or she counted them before going on one of her jobs. Was your hubby a Mariene??? I ask that because most of them do press personable responsability and independence. later gal and say hi to your son let him know there a Texan that has him on a prayer list. Joe