Epilepsy and Memory Loss

I developed epilepsy when I was 16years old. Or atleast had my first grand mal seizure then. I was at my now ex's house and he was trying to talk me into "doing some things with him". He began getting very angered with me, and we got into quite the fight. Next thing I knew I woke up in the floor with him above me screaming and the taste of blood throughout my mouth. I then saw his little brother and his girlfriend bust through the door, then his mother. Then I saw E.M.T.'s sitting around me in the ambulance and a glimpse of being wheeled through the hospital doors. I didn't wake up until two days later in a hospital four hours away. (It specialized in neurology.) I had bit a hole all the way through my tongue two inches wide as well as in my cheeks. I remained in the hospital for two weeks while they ran all sorts of test and etc.. They asked all sorts of medical history questions and whatnot, unfortunately I was adopted. Not everything about my biological history was known, but that my mother did use drugs during pregnancy. After further testing, the oh so awesome EEG's and brain scans. They told me that they believed my seizures where triggered by stress and lack of sleep. But why did they start at 16? Right when I got my drivers license and freedoms, it all gets taken away...Sucked horribly. Then the medicine that they first put me on, Zonegran, which with is a cousin of penicillin (which I am allergic to, and they fully knew this) I lost 30lbs. in one month and broke out in a rash from head to toe. But all leading up to this , there were times that I had the "weird feelings". My friends, family, fiance, and several others have asked me to explain this feeling and it's hard to put it in words. I don't know if this is exactly within the same range of yours, but mine feel almost like I get lightheaded and dizzy with a somewhat feeling of nausea, along with being jumpy, kind of a confusion of what the hell is going on, moment stopping in time. That's only the beginning of it that I can transfer into words. Friends and family have also found it weird of me that I don't remember certain things from the past as if I don't want to hold onto memories or something but that's not it at all. I literally just can't remember things....

I started to have Grand Mal seizures 2 yrs. ago. I have most symptoms of GM seizures. Stop breathing, blue face and lips, tongue bitten, peed pants and weak legs. Also have extreme headaches after sz. and extreme nausea. My boyfriend saw me having the 1st seizure and I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance. Had CT scan, and then was sent home. I also had a MRI, showed nothing, and an EEG, which also showed nothing. 2 months later had 2 seizures 2 hrs. apart. Taken to the hospital again. Had blood drawn, given liquid anti-seizure meds. and then was put on Dilantin 3 x day. The pills 3xday got to be too much. I was having pain in joints, probs with stool, and felt sick all the time. But I think I have something else wrong with my stomach. So the dr. put it down to 2xday. Still too much cuz I am still feeling sick but another dr. gave me an anxiety pill for nausea which seems to help. I lost my job in May of 2011, finally got unemployment and still taking my pills which are now Phenytoin 2xday. I have decided to only take my pills one time a day cuz I hate them and since I have no insurance, I feel what is the point in taking the pills if I can't get the proper help? I have auras and right now have not had a sz yet. Since my sz. I too have noticed my short term memory has gotten bad and I think my long term memory is going too. I could not remember my aunt's last name a few wks ago! My older sister thinks it is cuz of depression, but I know it is from the sz. and my pills. My personality has changed too. I get angry easily and I feel like I am 2 different people I don't know myself anymore. I also think something and then say the wrong word out loud. Like I am thinking I need the paper towels and say toilet paper instead. I feel so alone and can't really talk about my condition with my family cuz they say I am obsessing with my seizures. I just want to know about them and understand them. I am going to try and look into natural supplements to use instead of my meds. I heard potassium helps seizures. Sorry for the long post. I enjoyed reading everyones posts and hope everyone takes it easy. bye.

Right now, I suffer 3 kinds of epilepsies. First, ever since I was young, I have experienced the Gelastic seizure, or what they call as the "laughing seizure". It happens to me always, until now. It cannot be controlled by my medicines. I don't know why. My second kind of epilepsy was the clonic epilepsy wherein I have experienced it when I was on the 5th grade. And thank God, this is my most rare attack of epilepsy. I had encountered 3 neurologists, and I had taken many kinds of medication like Carbamazepine, Phenobarbital, Valproic Acids (ER), and Levetiracetam. Right now, I take 1 Levetiracetam at 7 am, 12nn, and at 7:00 pm. Next, 1 Valproic Acid by 9 am, 12nn, and by 3:00 pm. And the final medicine, 1 Phenobarbital at night. And my final attack, the tonic epilepsy or the "absence seizure" happens to me frequently, especially when I got home very tired. Whenever I experience this attack, what I first feel is that I will be having my gelastic seizure. I will laugh, maybe around 30 seconds to a minute, and then, I will lose my memory as if I have fainted.