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Epilepsy and college..
Fri, 11/19/2004 - 10:47I'm going to college in a month. Although I am a commuter student, I'm scared of how I'm going to handle college. See, I was absent..a lot in high school when I was diagnosed with epilepsy. I had about 5 seizures over the course of my senior year and a lot of traumatic things happened to me which made me feel really down and hurt my grades a bit-for instance, not being able to drive.
I'm supposed to find out this week if i can finally drive again..oh how I love the New Jersey DMV...heh obviously sarcasm there. Anyway, I'm panicing about everything. I'm scared I'm gonna crack up when I get the work load which I know is going to be hell. I'm scared if I don't get my license back before september I wont be able to drive and my mom will have to drive me which will be really embarrassing and upset me a great deal. I've been waiting since September.
I've been in such a depression all summer..I haven't even left my room and I barely talk to my friends anymore or go out with them when they invite me places. The last thing I wanna do is go back to school..college no less where I won't know my way around, dont know about the teachers or how much work I'll have to deal with, and I don't know a soul there and see I'm a really shy person and every year since I was little I've cried on the first day of school. I know that's pathetic since I'm 18 now but it always happens.
I quit my job when I got epilepsy and lately I was trying to get another job but now my mom and dad dont want me to cuz we got my schedule for college and it's ridiculous..I wont have time for anything much less a job.
So basically I'm really losing it...I'm so scared and alone and upset and I just wanna run away and never come out of my room or something..I dont even wanna go to college..in fact my mom and I thought about not sending me for a year b/c of the epilepsy and the driving situation..God if any of you have been through this I beg you please respond!!!!!!!! I need support more than ever, God I just need something to hold on to..
Re: Re: Epilepsy and college..
Submitted by Dar51 on Tue, 2006-07-25 - 15:33
I am also 18, and im starting college in a matter of weeks. I'm very nervous about how its going to be since im also shy and everything, and the thing is when i get like nervous i have these like tremors due to my epilepsy and im afraid they'll only get worse when i go into college. Especially since very few of my friends know that i have epilepsy, i always seem to be hiding it as much as i can(even if its not that easy all the time).i dont know but its just hard for me to actually say it out loud, and it bothered me a lot when my mom or something talked to her friends about what i had like it was nothing, but to me it feels like everything is just so different than how it used to be. About driving, yes i am currently driving but theres many times that i wonder what could happen if i had a seizure while driving,its hard not thinking about things like that. I also feel alone many times because its like i have no one to talk to about all this. Anyway, I hope i helped even a little bit, just to show you're not alone.