Not telling people

You are right, not everyone needs to know. They were wrong for yelling at you. It sounds to me like you were comfortable with the situation, and it might have been ok for you not to say anything. If its not an issue, it shouldn't be an issue. Regardless, if someone got mad at you, they shouldn't have acted that way. Perhaps they just diddn't know how to handle themselves. Maybee they have some kind of prejudice about epilepsy. Maybee they were simply being mean in general. Just try not to get mad at them in return, and forgive them. I try to tell anyone I feel responsible to, or anyone who might be responsible to me if I have a seizure. If I feel like I am avoiding telling someone who should know, or if I feel like I would be lying by not telling them, I then tell them. I think that some people have a right to know. I look at it as trying to love that other person (whoever they are). They are just people, most of whom are naturally concerned about other people. If they know what to expect they will not be totally freaked out when they see you freaking out! They will also know what to do, and you may avoid things like useless trips to the hospital. If I don't tell someone, it is because it is not necessary. I don't think it is generally a good idea to purposely hide things. I don't feel very comfortable telling people, and I almost always have to explain what my seizures are like (which I feel even more uncomfortable about). However, it is getting easier each time I tell someone. It is also good because not many people know anything about epilepsy at all, and it is good to educate them a little bit. It's just good for them to know, and of course better awareness can lead to more epilepsy research, etc.! I occassionally have two problems when I tell people. The first is that they treat me like a porcelin doll. They are always touching me on the shoulder and asking me if I am ok. If I do anything that looks even slightly weird they think I am having a seizure. They also get stressed out about whether or not its ok if I go to see a movie, or things like that. People get funny ideas. I just try to assure them that I am ok and otherwise perfectly normal. The other thing (which has more to do with me than them) is that they act like they know all about it, and its nothing, because they know of someone else who has epilepsy. I think that they are just trying to be cool about it, but it can come off as dismissive. I'm sure that it is not meant this way. Most people however, are very good. They ask a few questions, try to understand, and offer help if you need it. I have had friends come to bring me home when I had a seizure, take me to the doctor, visit me in the hospital, etc. I have never been treated badly by anyone I told, or who found me having a seizure. On more than one occasion I have had strangers offer me help out of sincere concern. As far as things like special activities, and jobs and so on, you just have to make some judgements. It may be wrong for someone to exclude me, but they have their free will too, and I am not going to force them to act against their conscience, or force my will upon them. There may be a time when we have to fight unnessesary exclusion or prejudice, but this is usually not the case. Other people have to deal with us having epilepsy and we have to learn to deal with people who don't understand. We can't help having epilepsy, but they can't help NOT having epilepsy. We can help them to understand if they are willing to listen. I hope that none of that sounds harsh or unsympathetic. They were still wrong to yell at you.

This is something we all deal with. If I tell you, you might treat me like I'm stupid. If I don't tell you and I have one, you won't know what to do and/or you get mad at me. I lose either way. I do tell some people because if I do have one, they will kind of know what to do. I don't announce it to the grocery store clerk, but a friend I would. I don't think your sister's friend needed to know because she's not your friend. I'm guessing she's mad because of the "porecelain doll" syndrome of "you might get broke if you do something I think you shouldn't". And that you don't seem to be reacting the same way confuses this friend even more. I don't think you did anything wrong. Let this friend calm down and let your sister deal with this friend. You will deal with the "doll syndrome" for as long you have seizures. Even if you don't have them for years. I'm an adult and I deal with it constantly. Just remember that people panic. Some people are really great about epilepsy and others aren't. I'm 31 and my mother treats me like I'm porcelain. I love her for it, but it drives me nuts. But..she's my mom. She's allowed to be protective. And..I live too far away from her to put me on a shelf with a glass case :) I'm really glad you have been seizure free for year. I've never been seizure free my entire life. Good luck to you.