Musical / Auditory Hallucinations

K-God

Submitted by johndatcher on Thu, 2009-01-08 - 00:33

Dear Miss Dayna-

       If you still use this website, I would love , effing love, to hear more about K-God (<-- hilarious). real quick - i've been hallucinating music since August 2007 about. It has only happened powerfully 4 or 5 times, but it has happened gently atleast 50. So far the closest description I have been able to find anywhere was written by an eloquent old lady on another website, she goes by BarbaraCat and she wrote:

"I've experienced mind music for many years, not all the time and not even during any discernable blip in my mental state. Does it feel like you're wearning especially great stereo headphones and the music is very clear? Sometimes I wake up with it, almost on the tail end of a dream but can't remember it because it's so complex and layered. It's always very beautiful music of orchestral grandeur, soaring ecstatic choral passages with unpredictable and delightful musical turns of phrase. I feel like I'm totally present and marvelling at this rapturous enthralling music which is more real than anything in my surrounding. And then it fades away. I love having these private concerts and for a long time when I was young I believed the angels were joyfully singing among themselves and wondered I was able to hear their music. I didn't think it at all odd that no one else could hear it, only odd that I could. No matter what I'm emotionally feeling, this transcendant music can lift me and illuminate me and I wish it visited me more frequently. When it's gone, it visits and then vanishes like a deja-vu, and only an echo of a memory is left. I've come to be much more cynical and suspect that it's probably only a spiking auditory neuron. But what a lovely form for a dissident neural blip to take." briefly for me: it's unrecognizable, beautiful and quirky, i cannot even fully appreciate it for what it is

 I found another guy on some forum who described a similar experience and is about my age (23). But he never responded to my e-mail from a few months ago and I feared he died of a brain tumor or something. Then I read more and thought it might be temporal lobe epilepsy although this is unconfirmed. I got an MRI last month but it was negative. I'm seeing a neurologist next week. I do some drugs and I'm worried he'll blame the music on the drugs like my family does. Is K-God similar to BarbaraCat's description? Why does God play this music?   I understand if this is too personal, but it would mean a lot if you could share your experience more

thanks, john datcher

Re: Re: Re: Musical / Auditory Hallucinations

Submitted by MaryMaria on Sun, 2007-08-26 - 16:36

yeah, joan of arc suffered from auditory seizures too. curious, eh? i'm 23 and i can only recall 1 or 2 auditory seizures and it was definitely in my pre-pubescent youth. i heard someone say, "Mary!" and on another instance, i think i thought i heard some whispers. i second guessed myself, though, and i was too scared to even entertain the notion that i could have heard such a thing. this was before i was diagnosed with epilepsy thanks to my numbskull doctors, my daily absence seizures were written off as "dreamyness," and it was only after 3 tonic clonics at the age of 21 that i was diagnosed. i never told people about these brief whispers though, because i didn't want to add "hears voices" to my long list of mysterious problems. what i've had A LOT of, however, are the visual seizures. about five years ago, there was a painting of the madonna (i grew up with a lot of antiques) in my bedroom whose colors literally VIBRATED before my eyes. the strange thing was, though, that i would be awakened out of my sleep by this vision. i mean my eyes would be closed, i would get out of bed, and go to the painting and touch it because the colors were 3-dimensional. i still get these seizures. when i'm in the country, i sometimes wake up out of bed and look out the window, saying, "it's SOOO greeeeeen!" and I reach out my hand like some sort of a person in a trance. and then i go back to sleep. I don't think anyone could ever understand this, but you know what? now that i know what i have, and that i feel secure that i'm not going to fall and get hurt, I love it. I see the world through a lens that few people could ever understand, and sometimes you hear it in a different way too. —MC