Applying for social security disability benefits

I wanted to work hard at school and become an artist or animator, maybe for video games. But I got distracted by medical marijuana. My dad doesn't think it's safe for me to work, and it was his idea to apply. He said he would take care of me. But I feel guilty depending on him. I have grand Mal seizures once a month and petit Mal seizures at least once a week. The problem is I asked my neurologist to write me the recommendation for medical marijuana, because it's a qualifying condition, and when they wouldn't, I just grew more insistent and then they threw me out of their office. I eventually just called them a racist you see. I guess it's really the social justice aspect that makes me want to do it, you see, the UN is wrong when it says that racist consequences are "unintended". Drug laws were always racist laws. The lawmakers said that drugs caused interracial rape. I don't doubt that marijuana is an anticonvulsant, but I also am skeptical of all the medication I take since none of it works and they make me keep taking it. Marijuana is the best medicine I ever took. Any way, the problem is I got the recommendation from a regular primary care doctor who then prescribed my medications that were already prescribed by a specialist. I did this for a while since it was easier and cheaper than going to a specialist who was just going to do the exact same thing except be more snotty about it. As if they actually are doing anything except take advantage of my disease to prescribe drugs and get a constant pay check, they know my condition is hopeless and that's why they like feeding off of me. The problem is social security thinks I'm cured now if I'm not seeing an epileptologist, who does the exact same thing as the primary care guy except orders a bunch of useless EEGs and CAT scans that don't tell them anything. They accused me of not taking my medication and that's the only reason why I was having more seizures. I'm thinking the lawyers and disability have some arrangement worked out or these people will never dish out any money to people with epilepsy because despite it being hard to live with there is time, obviously, when I'm clear headed and can work on stuff. So even though I obviously can't drive and will definitely have seizures whether small or large at work if I had a job they expect the job to be tolerant. Not only that but even if you get disability they won't give you enough money to live on substantially. It would be better if they just gave people early medicare who have conditions like this perhaps, since they'll always have health problems and it would be rare to make enough money to get quality insurance, and even a poor job may pay more than the social security. I'm scared, I'm scared every day about what's going to happen to me. Life is so much harder for me, and for people with this condition, and it's invisible. Then when they see it they think that we have died. It would be easier too, if people always didn't want to call an ambulance and put me up with an annoying hospital bill if I have a seizure in public. Definitely get a disability lawyer anyway. I just can't believe they accused me of not taking my medication. 

I wanted to work hard at school and become an artist or animator, maybe for video games. But I got distracted by medical marijuana. My dad doesn't think it's safe for me to work, and it was his idea to apply. He said he would take care of me. But I feel guilty depending on him. I have grand Mal seizures once a month and petit Mal seizures at least once a week. The problem is I asked my neurologist to write me the recommendation for medical marijuana, because it's a qualifying condition, and when they wouldn't, I just grew more insistent and then they threw me out of their office. I eventually just called them a racist you see. I guess it's really the social justice aspect that makes me want to do it, you see, the UN is wrong when it says that racist consequences are "unintended". Drug laws were always racist laws. The lawmakers said that drugs caused interracial rape. I don't doubt that marijuana is an anticonvulsant, but I also am skeptical of all the medication I take since none of it works and they make me keep taking it. Marijuana is the best medicine I ever took. Any way, the problem is I got the recommendation from a regular primary care doctor who then prescribed my medications that were already prescribed by a specialist. I did this for a while since it was easier and cheaper than going to a specialist who was just going to do the exact same thing except be more snotty about it. As if they actually are doing anything except take advantage of my disease to prescribe drugs and get a constant pay check, they know my condition is hopeless and that's why they like feeding off of me. The problem is social security thinks I'm cured now if I'm not seeing an epileptologist, who does the exact same thing as the primary care guy except orders a bunch of useless EEGs and CAT scans that don't tell them anything. They accused me of not taking my medication and that's the only reason why I was having more seizures. I'm thinking the lawyers and disability have some arrangement worked out or these people will never dish out any money to people with epilepsy because despite it being hard to live with there is time, obviously, when I'm clear headed and can work on stuff. So even though I obviously can't drive and will definitely have seizures whether small or large at work if I had a job they expect the job to be tolerant. Not only that but even if you get disability they won't give you enough money to live on substantially. It would be better if they just gave people early medicare who have conditions like this perhaps, since they'll always have health problems and it would be rare to make enough money to get quality insurance, and even a poor job may pay more than the social security. I'm scared, I'm scared every day about what's going to happen to me. Life is so much harder for me, and for people with this condition, and it's invisible. Then when they see it they think that we have died. It would be easier too, if people always didn't want to call an ambulance and put me up with an annoying hospital bill if I have a seizure in public. Definitely get a disability lawyer anyway. I just can't believe they accused me of not taking my medication. 

My epilepsy is refractory, I'm on 3 medications now-- taking them as prescribed, mind you. and since I was thirteen I've tried more than that. I've tried depakote, lamictal, topamax, zonegran, I've been on so many I could be forgetting something. That's not including the ones I'm taking now, ethosuximide, keppra, and trileptal. I've had so many EEGs and CAT scans and had the snotty doctors look at them like they mean something when they're just using me as a science experiment like some psychic Stephen King character. And they make me pay for em too, when they do nothing for anybody. When all they do is prescribe me expensive drugs. I've been on more than one because no drug stopped the seizures. And that's also why I wanted to try the medical marijuana. And it ended up screwing me, because now, they say I have no proof of any of this. Because I challenged them having a policy about not saying anything they threw me out of their office-- and remember, they make me see them every three months and just to see their precious face it's a couple hundred bucks, that's how selfish they are. They don't care that we suffer and that's the problem. They don't care that people suffer.