My wife, epilepsy, and abnormal behavior - My Perspective

Re: My wife, epilepsy, and abnormal behavior - My Perspective

Submitted by dasha vu on Mon, 2011-04-25 - 01:15

Meds!! I take Keppra only. Started on 1000mg daily and I weened myself to 500mg. I still have "spells" every 10 or so days but no gran mal.  Some side effects but I can manage. I wish they had something to make my husband forget!

Re: My wife, epilepsy, and abnormal behavior - My Perspective

Submitted by freda13 on Fri, 2011-04-29 - 15:02

I feel for you, my husband has been through so much with my condidtion, my frist Grandmal siezure was back in 2004, I hit the ground on cemet(face frist) which also caused frontal lob brain injery, Since all this started happening I have not been able to keep a job due to memory loss, and decrease in conginative functioning. I have hid a lot of my siezures, confusion, and loss of time as much as possible. The stress this causes my husband is overwelming. It took over to yrs to get my drivers licenese back, and it was not easy! A few days ago I was pulling up into a so ca walmart, smelled that burning rubber smell, the bright lights in the store seemed to cause a patial siecure, I never lost cousiness, but barely remeber anything eles. My memory is slowly coming back and it seems to be coming through in dreams. I had a dream last night I was digging through boxes, reorganzing items.

I felt in a daze but held on to my cart. The next thing I remeber I was walking down a busy street, I asked a passer by where Walmart was, and walked the two miles back to my car still parked in the parking lot. When I came home my huband immediately noticed I was clearely out of it. I was so tried I went to bed, the next morining while my husband left for 15. min (he was afraid to leave me alone for to long) that smell came while leaning on our kitchen counter, the bright light, still do not recall losing cousious, but suddenly without my control I urinated all over my self. I know something very bad happened at Walmart, I checked my purse and walmart bag nothing out of sorts. But last night I dreamed three men grabed me as i was leaving walmart and put me in a room telling me not to say a word or I would be put in jail! It is not at all common for people who suffer with non-convulise siezures take on behavior which looks deliberate that is not in the persons control. Often they have been arested or locked up in mental health facilities. My Doctors have all said my grand-mal and patial siecures are triggered by extreem stress. years ago I was married to a police officer during our seperation he stocked me, and even tried to kill me! Even my attornys were afraid of him, and had body guards walk them to thier cars when ever we went to court. Being up close and personal when it comes to cops sticking togather, and what I know they can get away with I an terrified of the police. I now believe I was arrested possibly mistreated or treatended, and I have blocked the memory due to the PTS I have suffered from my x husband and his cop friends, beleive there is a code of blue, and if you divorce a cop who dose not want you to leave, you have a problem. I am afraid to call the K-Mart I was in, if I did get arrested it would hurt my husband and I am so afraid! Since this happened three days ago I have had four seizures. I have made an appointment with my specilist, if anyone out there has had anything like this happen please let me know. Bits of this are coming back, and I remeber telling someone about my seizures, and they said they would still call the police. I think I may have put something in my purse, and they thought i was steeling, possibley I was hand cuffed because my wrist are very sore, and bursed the Police Department is not far from Walmart, but what police station allow someone in my condition to walk almost two miles, and a down a busy street through a bad area in order to get to my car? Very possibly if the cops were involved, they would have gotten a special tag on my record stating I had a police officers conditential flag. So if they new I was had divorced from one of thier own all bets were off concering my health or saftey! I have never been in any trouble before, and now with these dream type memories I am afraid! I even thought about ............but that would just cause more pain to those who love me. Also a few years ago I tapped the back of a car in front of me after working, the guy hit just said let it go there is no damage, suddenly a cop appeared, he took me around the corner after discoving I was an X wife of a brother in blue and jammed so heard against that wall my knees buckled from fear! Finely I begged him to check me with a breathalzer, he got mad and said"listen you bitch, I can take you to jail for anything I feel like! How much retirement and support do you suck out of your x husbands pay check every month! you bitches marry us, then take us to cleaners!" When my test came back with a all clear he walked me back to where my car was and on lookers, and yelled "She's OK , just not used to her father's car brakes" Now what the hell did that mean~ my father wanted to report him, but then decided bad things my happen to us! So between the brain injery, siezures, and PTSS, how can I fight what I can not remember! if you tell me to get legel help, I can not AFFORD IT! tHANKS FOR THE TIME

Freda13

Fredaree7@aol.com

Re: My wife, epilepsy, and abnormal behavior - My Perspective

Submitted by GodivaGirl on Sat, 2011-05-07 - 00:19

Hello There, I am older than both you and your wife and a woman who is epileptic, soon to be 37. The difference is I was diagnosed at age 5, taken off meds for a tiny part of my life then put right back on them at age 16. I only got maybe a 4 year break from medications. So, really for me while my seizures are less severe, it is possible my complex partial seizures happen more frequently & have in my life so I'm much more ok that "Epilepsy" and "Seizures" have to be a part of my identity. When I was with my ex, it was like that from day 1. He knew straight up front I was epileptic, and he was going to deal with a girl who would space out at any given time, so he just called me his space cadet. I carried medications, he'd remind me at restaurants to take my "vitamins". We worked it into life. You would be surprised to know, I walked out on him because while nothing was wrong with him medically, he never really held down a job, and I actually have a university education in sociology & criminology and at one point in time I was an account manager for a technology company but as they downsized too much I ended up with a lower paying job so I couldn't afford life with him. Moved home with my parents & am now pursuing neurosurgery. As to your questions. Seizures - I never remember them, but if you were to ask my ex, he'd say for sure strange things happened back when I was with him. I left him in spring 2008, and have met someone new since late 2009. I'm still at home because neurosurgery referrals, etc. have taken forever & won't be done until the end of this year. If you were to ask the guy I'm with now, he would tell you there are times we are in restaurants & he just pays the bill, we end up at his place, my meal ends up in his fridge & I don't remember a thing. He'd also tell you there are times where all he does at a restaurant is move my silverware for a bit, get some high power medication in me, talk to me for 5 minutes, we finish supper & while I don't remember, I feel ok, we go to his place, he watches hockey & I fall asleep for a bit, he drives me home & it's all good. So, yes strange things happen. As far as mood swings - if you were to ask the love of my life right now his answer would be, ummmmm...she's female. We go on the idea, I'm crazy, he's nuts, just because we are opposites in many ways. Thing is seizure drugs have an impact. If you thought PMS was brutal for your wife before, seizure meds intensify that. One other thing as I read this, it looks like your wife is doing what many people I know have done, that I never understand. It must be a difference in USA versus Canada (I'm in Ontario, Canada). Doctors like to medication jump more and more. If people just come out and say they don't like one it's ok, take this. In a year I see about 4 medications where it is add/subtract. Like I tell my boss as doctors increase my medications, these are more powerful than Tylenol 3's even. So, playing add/subtract, sure it's going to have an impact & a pretty powerful one. To prep for surgery and try to stop seizures they have tripled all 3 meds I'm on (Topomax, Keppra, Clobazam). It has impacted me the most at work but in other ways as well. I tell people I know picture one day being on Tylenol, then 2 weeks later permanently taking Tylenol 3's. What they are doing to your wife is basically saying OK drug a didn't work, so ummmmm..lets add in a new one. How do you feel when you are sick & have to take tylenol &/or cold medicine. My boyfriend owned up and admitted he gets grumpy & wants to be left alone. With that in mind I said to him, so how can you expect me to be the same day after day pumpped full of stuff more powerful than either one of those all the time. Then he understood. He does things to cheer me up, and he's now the smile at the end of hard days. He knows when to back off after a hard day at work. All I can say is communication between each other is going to be key. It sounds like you are at a beginning stage where more is going to fall on your wife where she needs to accept epilepsy as part of her identity, tougher than you think. And as opposed to thinking this may go away, you need to give in and accept her for her. You can have a sense of humor, my ex & I always did, so do my current boyfriend and I. I'm on powerful medication to make me sleep at night, he kids around and says ok, time to get ya home before ya turn into a pumpkin. I always tell him I'm his zombie girl. Then his buddies tell him that he's all set for Zombieland, because I'm his sidekick. Accept her for her. Check out an epilepsy foundation - there are probably support groups. As someone in canada, not sure the usa one. FYI though - www.cnsuwo.ca - take a look at the March 11th article, that's an intense research study that I'm in, and the epilepsy program from that site is what I'm going through. Good Luck ~GG