what kind of seizure is this?

HI, I am wondering if anyone has any ideas about this. I was diagnosed with complex partial. Since getting a diagnosis and starting meds, my seizures have been increasing. Sometimes I get one where I feel like I am shaking inside and I can hear the sound of it. The first time it sounded like a train and the 2nd like a drumbeat. The noises get louder and sound like they are coming closer and the shaking gets faster and stronger and I am absolutely scared to death. I tell myself I have to stop it but it keeps on increasing and I am scared out of my wits while it's happening and for quite a while later. It woke me from my sleep the other night. I have a feeling that something is building and I am afraid while it is happening how it is going to end. I am afraid I will pass out. I think my motor functions are frozen when this happens. While it is occuring, I stay frozen wondering if I am shaking only on the inside or if it is actually visible to others. No-one has witnessed it yet. I never physically look to see if I am shaking. I don't think I am able to while it is happening. One time, about 5 minutes after it stopped, I felt it starting up again and then my whole body did a sideways jerk. I have also felt this happen in just my arm, small tremors starting. Of course I never look so I don't know what is happening! I am always confused with it. Is this a partial complex seizure? Has anyone else had this happen? I am so afraid it is going to become a grand mal. How do I know if I am having one?- a grand mal. Do you always fall down and pass out with a grand mal? Any info would be so helpful. This happened to me 2 nights ago and I am still scared. I am actually afraid to go to sleep because I hate waking up with that extreme feeling of fear out of a deep sleep. Thanks!